The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
10/18/12
Powerful truth written into this exchange. A message that grips us all! Thanksfor a nice job.
10/20/12
Maybe a hot tub for baptisms? Good descriptive work, and a strong challenge.
This is a fascinating story. I felt like I was watching the TV show "The Real Housewives of..." How sad to feel the need to compete with others.

I noticed some tiny punctuation errors. Like in this line: for what I am," her lower lip quivered
Because Her lower lipped quivered is a narrative line, there should be a period after am and Her should be capitalized.

However, that very same line is a great example of showing instead of telling. It paints a picture in my head, as well as giving me a peek into the MC's personality and emotional state. You did a nice job with this piece.
10/21/12
This is interesting, and a great approach to the topic. I like the truth-telling friend, yet love was apparent in what she said. good job.
10/24/12
I enjoyed this relationship very much. It really spoke to me, not only about the message Val brought to her friend, but about the blessing and necessity of having friendships like these ... ones that can, when needed, get in our faces. This was so easy to read from start to finish. Well done!