The Official Writing Challenge
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This is a great story. Children stories are my favorite genre. This would be a spectacular piece for a children's Sunday School lesson. I'd just focus more on the kids and show them in the barn at the beginning. Though the less the adults are highlighted in a children's book the better the story is, I still think the way it is written right now is a great story for parents. I really like the MC telling the kid what funny means. It's a great bit of advice for parents of little ones. I also liked how both moms took action too. It is important to discipline children even if others are around. This is a great message and a nice take on the topic.
10/13/12
You've captured the energy and interaction of your characters brilliantly. This should rate well, as the neat definition of fun is not pushed too hard.
10/14/12
I enjoyed your story and its message. I can imagine children enjoying this tale and taking in its message. Thanks.
10/15/12
Awww, nicely done and nicely told. Thanks. God Bless~