The Official Writing Challenge
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I really enjoyed your message. It is important to have Jesus be part of a marriage if one stands any chance of making it last. My daughter is getting married in 2 weeks and my son is delivering the message. His message is quite similar to the one you portrayed.

Your formatting made it a tad hard to read and understand. Maybe if you had put some double spaces between the two characters talking back and forth that may have helped some. Though I also think if you had had some actions instead of just the conversation that might have helped too. Something like Pretty looked into Mr. John's eyes. "No." That may have helped the reader relate to the characters.

I think the bottom part of your message is the crux of your story and you did a nice job of telling your message without coming off as preachy which isn't always easy to do. Nice job.
10/14/12
Interesting perspective, and a creative take on the topic.
10/15/12
Great job with the topic, interesting story with a strong message. Jesus should be first, excellent reminder.

Thanks. God Bless~