The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
09/13/12
This was such a well-written story with such a powerful meaning beyond the words.

Thank you. God Bless~
09/13/12
Loved reading this and so hope its a true story. Well written and wonderful. Thankyou
09/13/12
WOW! Jim Bowman captivated me. I could picture him from your excellent descriptions. I felt I was sitting with him at the party. Great writing.
09/14/12
A great story. I wonder if it's a true one - hope it is. One suggestion: move the first 2 sentences to the end so we learn of Jim's faith as we read more of the story. Thanks.
I enjoyed this story. I wasn't sure where you were heading at first but I absolutely enjoyed the trip.

The only red ink I have is tine. The line about the first time I met Jim Bowman confused me a bit when the MC reached over the fence and said Hi Jim. If this was the first meeting how did the MC know his name. (Like I said it was really tiny red ink that doesn't matter to the story.)

I think the idea of having a regular cookout is a wonderful idea. The way families are spreading out and doing their own thing and the fact that many don't even know their neighbor is an alarming fact that is spreading. What a great way to not only instill the necessity of coming together as a family but also to help the neighborhood stay a good place to raise kids.