The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
I liked this story. There is something about sitting around a fire and cooking that makes us relax and as you said, "just be". I have one suggestion for the sentence when your "mind remembered" Probably could have just said you remembered or recalled.
Wonderful story and so well-written. I felt as if I was sitting amongst all of you, tasting and eating and laughing in the joyous day.

Loved the message and all that this entry implied.

Nicely done!

Thanks and
God Bless~
I enjoy reading about different cultures and this was a unique piece. My suggestion (just my opinion) would be to take out the first couple of paragraphs and open with the event itself to draw in the reader. Nice job here.
I really enjoyed this tale and how you related this to the 'rest' God offers us. Thanks.
Very nice story. I like Africa myself, and have always wanted to go there, so this was a treat. Drawing peoples attention to just be themselves was a very important message. Thank you.

God bless.
This is a powerful beautiful piece. You had a nice subtle sense of humor which blessed me almost as much as your lovely message. I so get it! I think about all of the times I am afraid to be just me, times where I worried what others think of me. You so totally touched my heart with this message.

The only red ink I noticed was in the very beginning when you wrote leisurely vacation instead of leisure vacation.

Just the tiny difference between an adverb and an adjective--not important at all in the grand scheme but I can see you doing more with this piece so I wanted to point it out. I think it would be ideal for a Christian magazine or for a newsletter for people who are on or planning a mission trip, Actually for any person whether on a mission trip or not will be blessed by your words. You make such an important point I really hope you do more with it so as many people as possible can be touched like I am by your beautiful words.
Congratulations for placing 6th in level 3 and 15 overall! :)