The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
09/10/12
You certainly have a descriptive style of writing! I liked the blueberry pancake "lily" pads, the waterfall of maple syrup with little rock-like pitchers below, the meringue clouds, etc. It was a very tasty story! :)
I enjoyed this out-of-the-box adventure. You captured the topic in a fresh and fun way while still allowing the reader to realize that there was danger lurking around each corner. Having been in the hospital a lot, I can understand why coma dreams would be about junk food. You captured the need quite well.
Congratulations for ranking 8th in Masters and 17 overall!