The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
08/31/12
I really liked the realistic interaction with the characters...and enjoyed the message and story.

God bless~
This was an adorable story of sisterly love, reconciling with one's true self and acceptance. I really enjoyed it.

There were points where I felt a bit lost. I'm not sure if it was me or if it was because some of it didn't feel natural. The whole bit about the cookie, took me a minute to realize it was a fortune cookie. Maybe because I always break my fortune cookie and pull the paper out. Also when you said cellophane, my mind went to the clear plastic wrap that sticks to everything but what it's supposed to which made me think she had a plate of homemade cookies on her lap. After rereading it, I realized that I read my life experiences into the story.

Now that, I've settled that the confusion was my fault, I want to stress what an important lesson this story has for me. i'm much like the MC, unsure and super critical of everything I do. I'm also a huge worrier and you reminded me that I'm special in God's eyes. He loves me faults and all and his sacrifice always gives me a chance at redemption. There's a lot of depth to this charming story and I have been blessed by your words.
09/05/12
What I loved about this piece is that you used the theme, and launched from there. The theme wasn't you're main focus, but the inspiration, which makes this piece unique for this particular challenge entry.

The message was good, but as strange as it may seem, I feel the point would have been stronger if you left off the final paragraph.

Overall, well done.
Congratulations on your HC and for ranking 13 overall! :)
09/09/12
Congrats. God bless~