The Official Writing Challenge
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Wow what a powerful allegory. You really didn't pull any punches and told the story just as it is. You had captured my attention and I could feel my heart thudding as I read this.

I did notice something in this line--The sand; she seemed to float atop it, but I never took notice. How could the MC tell us if he never took notice. I'm nitpicking, but it did cause me to stumble just a bit.

It's on topic in a very out of the box way. I often stray too far from the box so I'm not the best judge to tell if you did or not. Your message was stunning. Only a blink...oh how true that can be. Also how wonderful for those who have invited Jesus into their hearts, he forgives and grants us grace quicker than a blink. This is an intriguing story for sure.
08/31/12
Wow - powerfully deep. Nicely done...and fuel for thought as well.

God bless~
Gripping. Powerful. 'nuff said
09/04/12
Yes, powerful. I have to admit, in the beginning it was too sensuous for me, too shocking in fact, but I think that was the point. This is bold, courageous writing that is as lovely as it is frightening, and as poetic as it is coarse.

Very well done.
09/05/12
An excellent piece that brings across the meaning of two Bible verses.

"Stolen water is sweet; And bread eaten in secret is pleasant." But he does not know that the dead are there, That her guests are in the depths of Sheol. (Proverbs 9:17-18 NAS)

Though evil is sweet in his mouth And he hides it under his tongue, Though he desires it and will not let it go, But holds it in his mouth, Yet his food in his stomach is changed To the venom of cobras within him. (Job 20:12-14 NAS)

Well done!

09/06/12
WOW! Wait while I wipe the steam off my specs!

This is an amazing and daring entry and is well deserving of the ribbon. A huge congratulations to you.
09/06/12
WOW and DOUBLE WOW!! This powerful piece is so very well-written and contains such an important message! It truly "packs a punch"! I love your highly descriptive writing! The ending is excellent, too! I should just say that your entry is amazing from start to finish! CONGRATULATIONS on your win! :)
Congratulations! Excellent writing.
09/06/12
This was a stunning entry, crafted in a method that was alluring but not trashy...Well done, presenting an age old dilemma in a fresh and spicy way!
09/07/12
This story grabbed me from the first sentence and kept me reading to the gripping conclusion. Excellent in content, message and delivery. Congratulations on placing so highly with this stirring piece.
09/09/12
congrats. God Bless~