There was a young lady from Highett
who tried an unusual diet.
“Lose a kilo each day
if you do it our way,”
was the slogan that got her to try it.
“Our plan is both tried and well proven.
To get our good deal please get movin."
This special won't last.
You won't have to fast.
Join our scheme now and soon you'll be groovin'.”
The diet, it sounded so easy,
a way to become far less squeezy
“Just buy our book
And watch what you cook
And subscribe to our web site, yes pleasey.”
The young lady paid out big money.
The deal seemed as sweet as pure honey.
Then she started to read
on what she could feed
and something just seemed a bit funny.
The “Alphabet Diet” they named it.
If carefully followed they claimed it
would shed all the weight,
yet her appetite sate,
as the new regime gradually tamed it.
The new plan she read and she learnt it.
She cooked lots of food, rarely burnt it.
Was a plan so bizarre,
the weirdest by far.
If successful she'd know that she'd earned it.
The food that she ate the first day,
it all had to start with an A.
Avocados she ate,
and on her plate
were anchovies and apples and ale.
The next day she started on B.
Bread and bananas you see,
biscuits and beans,
and butter it seems,
and then she was up to the C.
The diet plan book that she had
promised it wasn't a fad.
“Eat every day
just what we say,
and eventually you will be glad.”
“The weight loss will take just a while,
as you follow our new eating style.
Until you reach J,
just ten days away
You may think that it's not quite worthwhile.”
“The method we teach is unique.
It's the one that the food-lovers seek.
You won't notice a thing
until, Hey Presto, Zing!
at the tenth day, a brand new physique!”
“By Z you'll be light as can be.
Just follow our prompts and you'll see.”
She kept to the plan,
became quite a fan.
She even kept going to G.
Then she added the numbers and such,
saw by Z she'd have lost way too much.
So stopping at G,
she had to agree
such a diet she never would touch.
Now much poorer, this lady from Highett
had learnt that a sillier diet
could never be found.
She had not lost a pound,
and she'd tell everyone not to try it.
The moral of course you have guessed it:
In choosing a diet of best fit,
just eat healthy food,
whatever your mood.
Save your money or go and invest it.
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