Hire
Writers
Editors
Home Tour About Read What's New Help Forums Join
My Account Login
Shop
Save
Support
E
Book
Store
Learn
About
Jesus
  

Four Ways For A Christian Writer To Win A Publishing Package HERE



The HOME for Christian writers! The Home for Christian Writers!
The Official Writing Challenge

BACK TO
CHALLENGE
MAIN

INSTRUCTIONS

how it works
submission rules
guidelines for
choosing a level

ENTRIES

submit your entry
read current entries
read past entries
challenge winners



Our Daily Devotional HERE
Place it on your site or
receive it daily by email.





TRUST JESUS TODAY

TRY THE TEST



Share
how it works   Submit

Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Savory to the Taste (07/26/12)

TITLE: Strawberry Fields Forever
By Vicki J. Cypcar
08/01/12


 LEAVE COMMENT ON ARTICLE
 SEND A PRIVATE COMMENT
 ADD TO MY FAVORITES

The red Chevy pick-up pulled over to the fruit stand and came to a rest. Jack Jennings opened the door and stretched his long legs. As he approached the stand he smiled at the small red-haired girl as he handed her two bucks for a small basket of strawberries. This was the weekly ritual every time Jack’s shift ended at the fire station.

Once home he entered the tired farmhouse and rinsed the strawberries before heading out the screen door to his back porch. He sat back in the rocker with his feet resting on the rail while savoring every bite. To Jack Jennings strawberries weren’t just food – strawberries were memories.

As the sun began to set he recollected his younger years. He and Shannon Hanson first met in the 2nd grade. Shannon lived in Shady Grove subdivision - the affluent area of Watsonville. Jack lived in Pine Cone Trailer Park.

Shannon’s father was a doctor – Jack’s father was a truck driver.

Shannon’s family belonged to the Country Club – Jack’s dad was a regular at Fat Boy’s Barbeque.

Jack never knew his mom; she left to become an actress. Years later she was seen waitressing at a truck stop in Tahoe.

But Jack learned in the 4th grade that although money could buy happiness, and provide full size candy bars to Trick or Treater’s on Halloween, it could never keep death at bay.

At the tender age of 9, Shannon lost her mom to cancer.

When Shannon lost her mom Jack was there to hold her hand. They would climb up into Shannon’s tree house with crackers and a jar of her mother’s strawberry jam. With precision of a surgeon Shannon would spread the jam on the crackers - careful not to waste a single drop of her mother’s last labor of love.

Jack recollected how Shannon dreamed of becoming a doctor like her father. She had a white doctor coat and every stuffed animal she owned wore band-aids. She was using terms like triage, intensive care, and ICU before entering middle school.

During the summer months she and Jack would swim at Pinto Lake and bask in the sun. They held hands while running through fields of strawberries at Shepler’s Strawberry farm. She loved the Beatles and her favorite song was ‘Strawberry Fields Forever.’

Shannon was a tomboy until she entered high school. She played on the tennis team and Jack never tired of hearing her say the word ‘Love’ when scoring.

Jack on the other hand was an introverted bookworm. He wore the color black and bought a Harley. Shannon’s doctor dad refused to let Shannon ride on it.

Although they evolved into polar opposites they still went to the Prom together and danced cheek to cheek to ‘Yesterday’ by the Beatles.

After graduation they retreated to the tree house one last time and finished off a jar of jam made by Shannon - her mother’s recipe.

The following week Shannon left for Stanford. Before climbing into her VW Beetle they shared their last kiss with tears in their eyes.

As he reminisced he wondered what ever happened to Shannon Hanson. Her father had since retired and moved to Palm Springs.

Jack rose to his feet – walked inside and grabbed the keys to the Harley. The roar of the bike would quiet his lonely heart.

On impulse he pulled into the parking lot of the Santa Cruz County Fair. The sign said ‘The Berry Best.’ Parked his bike and smoothed his dark hair. Paid admission and began meandering through the midway.

He paused to look at the carousel; ‘Strawberry Fields Forever’ was playing. The lacquered horses rotated in the amber haze of sunset.

“Excuse me.” A voice echoed through the chaos. Jack turned to see a plump woman with a cherub face. “Could you assist us with the judging at the food pavilion?”

Jack and looked around before answering. “Why me?”

“Because son, you look like you could use a few extra calories.” The aunt Bee look-a-like laughed.

Jack shrugged, “Sure, why not?”

Once he reached the red and white checked tablecloth with a dozen jars he surrendered to a blindfold along with two other captives.

Each taste of jam blended blandly into the next.

Until the very last entry – savory to the taste.

The judging was complete.

Jack removed his blindfold as the winner was announced.

“First place goes to Dr. Shannon Hanson.”


The opinions expressed by authors may not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.
Accept Jesus as Your Lord and Savior Right Now - CLICK HERE
JOIN US at FaithWriters for Free. Grow as a Writer and Spread the Gospel.


This article has been read 246 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Ellen Carr 08/03/12
I enjoyed your story and was left wondering what happened next. Thanks.
CD Swanson 08/03/12
Oh nicely done and nicely told. This was a story I kind of expect to see in a magazine. It held my attention, it was well-written, and I loved the ending! Thanks.

God bless~
Janice Cartwright08/03/12
You gave me a lesson here: How to get a complete story, including main points of good writing, within our word limit." I thought it was berry, berry good.Willl I get a bill?
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 08/03/12
This is one of those stories that just tug at the heart. You did a nice job of showing the pain the MC and Shannon endured together. The ending was slightly predictable but still left me with a warm, feel-good feeling.
Hiram Claudio08/06/12
I really enjoyed this and I, too, felt a tug at the heart. I thought the story flowed easily and, since i kept picturing Jack as this big burly kind of manly man, I enjoyed this look into a softer side of him. I did find myself wondering how many years it had been since he'd seen Shannon - guess I was trying to place the depth of his longing for her.

Nice writing here. Well done!
Lois Farrow08/07/12
Very nicely written. I enjoyed the story and can almost taste the jam.
Leola Ogle 08/07/12
Such a lovely story. It's amazing how a simple thing like the taste of strawberries bring on wonderful memories. Well written. Good job!
Edmond Ng 08/08/12
A lovely story I enjoyed reading. The emotions expressed by the characters came through nicely. An excellent piece!
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 08/09/12
Congratulations for ranking 8th in your level!
Noel Mitaxa 08/09/12
Loved the sense of time warp. Back to childhood and through adolescent romance - to suddenly find the years peeled back!
Great close; great writing.
I was going to say berry good, but since someone beat me to it, my endorsement must remain fruitless.