Hire
Writers
Editors
Home Tour About Read What's New Help Forums Join
My Account Login
Shop
Save
Support
E
Book
Store
Learn
About
Jesus
  

Four Ways For A Christian Writer To Win A Publishing Package HERE



The HOME for Christian writers! The Home for Christian Writers!
The Official Writing Challenge

BACK TO
CHALLENGE
MAIN

INSTRUCTIONS

how it works
submission rules
guidelines for
choosing a level

ENTRIES

submit your entry
read current entries
read past entries
challenge winners



Our Daily Devotional HERE
Place it on your site or
receive it daily by email.





TRUST JESUS TODAY

TRY THE TEST



Share
how it works   Submit

Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Potluck (Meal or Gathering) Deadline 7-26-12 @ 10 AM NY Time (07/19/12)

TITLE: A Gentle Retribution
By Loren T. Lowery
07/24/12


 LEAVE COMMENT ON ARTICLE
 SEND A PRIVATE COMMENT
 ADD TO MY FAVORITES

The Monroe Grange Hall was a scurry of activity. Twenty vinyl-covered folding tables lined the perimeter of its spacious and ancient, oak-planked floor. Each table was laden with a range of food from friend chicken to orange marmalade cake. The tables and their contents all stringently monitored by Madge Butterworth, the Grange's unofficial, self-appointed hostess for over 40 years.

Twenty or more people milled about the tables, gawking and savoring the various aromas coming from the food. Others sat and talked at the linen-cloaked and flower-decked tables scattered around the center of the hall.

Sounds of children playing outside on the freshly-mowed lawn drifted through opened windows. Country music softly vibrated through the floorboards from the cellar as a barker called out dance steps to those learning how to do the grape-vine shuffle to the tune of “Achy Breaky Heart.”

All-in-all, each in their own way, having a grand time at the Grange’s annual potluck dinner celebrating the end of a long, hot summer.

“I swan,” Madge said, to her niece, Chelsea, who was standing next to her at the utensils table. “This event gets bigger every year.”

Chelsea looked around, eyes sparkling. “Oh it does; and it’s just glorious. Mary has outdone herself this year with those red roses mixed with the blue hydrangeas she used for the center pieces.”

“Huh, huh, and I hear every yard from here to Avondale is mysteriously missing a few blooms in their gardens.” She stopped suddenly, nudging her niece. “Well look who just came in, Sally Goodson carrying what she calls her special casserole on that silver platter she calls an heir loom, which I know she found at an Avondale yard sale. And I’ll tell you another thing; I know why she comes late, making an entrance. It’s because she’s always accusing me of mixing her homemade casserole with Edith Hick’s store-bought one just so Edith won’t be embarrassed by nobody eating hers.” Why the very idea…”

“Oh please, Aunt Madge. You know how it distresses me to hear gossip. Besides you know what Reverend Hicks says about gossip. It comes to no good end and God always sends a gentle retribution.”

“Nonsense, Chelsea. And beside, I do not gossip. I just try to keep up with things and pass it along – there’s a difference.” She looked around smiling as more people entered the hall. “I do hope Blanch Klepper doesn’t bring anything this year." She whispered. "I don’t know what she does to her food; but who ever eats it ends up,” her voice quieted to a murmur, “they get,” she cleared her throat, “well you know - Montezuma’s revenge. Stay away from it at all cost.”

Chelsea sighed as Grover Nichols, Grange President, sauntered up to them, carrying a dish of scalloped potatoes. “My wife’s contribution,” he said, setting it down.

“But Grover,” Madge feigned surprise, “your wife always bakes her wonderful sweet potato pie; it’s an annual favorite.”

“Indeed it seems; but she wanted to try something new; and I make it a point never to disagree with my wife.” He smiled

“Sounds like a good recipe for marriage,” Chelsea interjected.

“Indeed it is. Now if you’ll excuse me I promised my wife to try line dancing down in the basement. I also make it a point to never disappoint her as well.”

“What a sweetheart,” Chelsea said as he walked away.

“Well let me tell you,” Madge whispered, “there’s more to that story than scalloped potatoes and line dancing.”

“Aunt Madge, please.

“Well, I’m just saying.” She glanced around the room. “Oh look there’s Joanna Crew. She’s bringing her Blue Ribbon appetizers. We’ll have to try one before they’re all gone.”

Joanna set the tray down before them, smiling. “Help yourself; I have to run back to the car.”

“Oh thank-you, I guess I will try at least one.” Madge exclaimed.

Chelsea courteously shook her head, smiling. “Not quite hungry yet.”

Madge quickly picked one up and put it in her mouth as Joanna went back outside. A smile brightened Madge’s face. “Oh my, these are wonderful, I’ll just have to have one more.”

Joanna came back through the door with another tray as Madge was finishing her third appetizer.

“Oh, I’m so pleased you’re enjoying Blanch’s appetizers.” Joanna said. “She’s sick and called to see if I’d bring them over on my way here.” She smiled, as she put the tray she was carrying down. “These are mine; but I’m sure hers are just as good.”


The opinions expressed by authors may not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.
Accept Jesus as Your Lord and Savior Right Now - CLICK HERE
JOIN US at FaithWriters for Free. Grow as a Writer and Spread the Gospel.


This article has been read 440 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Lynda Schultz 07/26/12
I couldn't stop laughing—"gentle retribution," indeed!
CD Swanson 07/26/12
Oh my gosh! That was great...so funny! Hahahahaha!
God has a great sense of humor.

Blessings~
Linda Goergen07/26/12
This was just wonderful, I can hardly type for giggling...seems justice was served. Terrific job on this!
Laury Hubrich 07/30/12
Hahaha:) Love this:)
Catrina Bradley 07/30/12
I always lose myself in your prose, and this entry is no exception. Oh that ending! - priceless. I'm thinking Madge won't find the retribution very "gentle". Good. :)
Noel Mitaxa 07/31/12
Very gentle indeed, but I'm enjoying a mental picture of Madge going pale - "Blanched" even?
Beth LaBuff 07/31/12
I love your subtle humor. Your vivid setting descriptions put me right there with the roses and hydrangeas. :) You've made this tangible and entertaining. Confession time here: There have been potlucks I've attended where certain foods from dear people border on the "eat with caution." :)
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 07/31/12
I enjoyed this delightful little tale. As a kid, the range was a big part of country living and I had fond memories of going to events with my grandparents. I'd almost forgotten them when your story brought a flood of them washing over me.

I'm sure you spotted your typos but I do have to say when I saw friend chicken, I first thought it must be a way of cooking it, then I thought gee if you're going to eat it, you shouldn't become so close as to call it friend. Finally my brain said duh it's likely a typo for fried. I did a similar thought process for I swan. :)

It's not easy to take a topic such as potluck and tell the story in a fresh and fun way but you did just that. I think every church has some church ladies who like to gossip. It's a wonderful reminder to reign in our tongues as they can be quite poisonous at times. I really did enjoy your MC and could vividly see her face at the end.
lynn gipson 07/31/12
WONDERFUL....LOVED IT...HAVE AN "AUNT MADGE" seriously, i am still laughing ....you are a great writer and I could read the whole book!! thank you and God Bless
Verna Cole Mitchell 08/02/12
What an absolutely delightful story! I love your humor and your ability to paint pictures with just the right words--all this and a lesson, too!
Verna Cole Mitchell 08/02/12
Hooray for an EC. This was definitely a winner for me, too!
Sally Schrock08/02/12
Really good story with a great hook at the end. I was completely drawn in!
Beth LaBuff 08/02/12
Congrats, Loren. This deserved an Editor's Choice award. You're on a roll!
CD Swanson 08/02/12
Congrats! God Bless~
Ellen Carr 08/02/12
I really enjoyed your story and oh how we woemen have to watch out for any 'Aunt Madgeness'in our behaviour and talk. Congrats on your EC place.