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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Potluck (Meal or Gathering) Deadline 7-26-12 @ 10 AM NY Time (07/19/12)

TITLE: Martha's Lot Puck Dinner
By Tim Pickl
07/21/12


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Martha slammed the dryer door shut and scurried back into the kitchen.

eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep

“Oh, no!?!? Now the smoke alarm is going off? What else can go wrong?!??” Instinctively she knew what happened: the dish she had baking in the oven for the potluck dinner started to burn. Grabbing her oven mitts with one hand and turning off the oven with the other, she yanked the pan from the oven and placed the smoking mess on top of the stove.

eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep

“Arrrrgh! That thing is sooo annoying!”

Using a tattered Martha Stewart kitchen towel, Martha fanned the air around the smoke alarm until it finally stopped.

“Finally!” Martha sighed with relief. Unexpectedly, her mobile phone rang with a gospel ring tone.

Amazing grace! How sweet the sound that saved a wretch like me…

“Now what???” She pressed the answer button. “Hello?”

“Oh, hi Martha! I didn’t know if you’d answer or not.”

“Hi Mary.”

“Um, hi. You sound kind of down. What’s up?”

“I just burned my dish for the potluck dinner.”

“Oh, noooo.

“Unfortunately, yes. It looks more like a hockey puck.”

“Don’t worry about it. I made extra because I know the boys love to eat.”

“You’re the bomb, Mary.”

“No, Martha: you’re the bomb. You always do so much for so many people.”

“I try... What’s up? Why did you call?”

“Oh, I just wanted to say I picked up Peter on the way over to your place for the potluck. We’re on our way. We should be there in a few minutes.”

“What about J and J?”

“James and John are coming in their own car.”

“Of course. And, how is Joshua getting here?”

“He’s walking!”

“Really?!? Again? That’s crazy!”

“Oh, I know. He insisted.”

“It’s a long way over here. He must be walking already.”

“Yes, he’s on his way now. He just likes to walk. In fact… we just passed him now. He waved at us.”

“He’s funny. Strange kind of funny.”

“That he is!”

“Thanks Mary for letting me know. I won’t keep you. Bye, for now.”

“Ba-bye.”

beep beep beep beep beep

“Now the dryer needs help?” Martha made her way over to the laundry room, which was situated next to the garage in her condo. “Oh, I forgot to clean the lint filter. Machines these days, I’m telling you.” As she removed the lint filter, the doorbell rang.

rinnng rinnng rinnng donnnng

Martha slammed the dryer door shut and rushed over to the front door.

rinnng rinnng rinnng donnnng

“Hi Martha!” Mary stepped in smiling, carrying a hot food dish and two bags of dinner rolls.

“Hi Mary!”

“Hi Martha! I brought some Doritos.” Peter handed two bags of Blazin’ Buffalo Ranch flavored chips.

“Oh, thanks Peter. Always the ‘hot head’, hey?”

“Very funny.”

“Please, please come in and sit down. I’ll take care of the food. Do you want something to drink?”

“I’ll have— ”

“We’ll both just have water.” Mary interrupted Peter with a smile.

“Okay.”

As Martha went into the kitchen, Mary sat down on the sofa. “I like what you’ve done with the place: Great decorating ideas!”

“Oh, thanks. I had a little help from James and John. They gave me the painting of the lightning storm.”

Martha handed Mary and Peter glasses of iced water.

“So, what happened to your potluck dish?”

“I burnt it pretty bad. It’s can’t be salvaged.”

“Let me see!” Peter jumped up and headed for the kitchen.

“Peter…” Mary tried to stop him.

“It’s okay, Mary.”

Peter walked back into the living room, grinning. “It looks like a hockey puck!”

“Yes, it does.”

“Hey, I have an idea. Let’s call this Home Fellowship Group meeting here tonight, ‘Martha’s Lot Puck’!”

Martha and Mary laughed. Peter was impulsive, but had a great sense of humor.

rinnng rinnng rinnng donnnng

“It’s probably James and John.”

Martha opened the door. “Joshua!”

All three converged on Joshua and hugged him in turns.

“I’m so glad you made it, Joshua.”

“I’m happy you invited me.” He answered, kicking off his sandals. “Here, I brought some homemade bread.”

“Thanks. Please sit down. I have to run into the kitchen to make sure I don’t burn Mary’s dish, too!”

Moved with compassion, Mary observed, “Joshua, you look tired.”

“It’s good for me to walk. It wasn’t too bad.” He sat on the easy chair.

Peter pointed out, “Josh, your feet look really bad.”

Mary got up and knelt by Him. “Here, let me massage them.”


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This article has been read 377 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 07/26/12
This is a sweet story. I enjoyed the allegory (or would it be a metaphor? I'll just use comparison) to the Biblical story. It's an entertaining read from beginning to end.

My bit of red ink is something an editor mentioned to me once and that's try not to mix punctuation like a question mark with an exclamation point as it is better to allow your words to create the desired effect. You did a nice job of doing just that.

Though there have been quite a few Martha and Mary stories the past few weeks, I really think your POV was clever and refreshing. The message is one that doesn't lose its meaning over the years. In fact, with today's busy world it is even more relevant to take time and kneel at Jesus' feet.
Leola Ogle 07/26/12
Clever remake of a familiar story. Loved all the disturbances from the electrical/technical devices. Boy, they do make the most annoying noises, huh? Good job! God bless!
CD (Camille) Swanson 07/26/12
This was a fresh take on the well known Biblical story. Great job. Thanks.

God bless~
Noel Mitaxa 07/27/12
Vety clever update on the household in Bethany. Great dialogue with just enough clues in the names.
Edmond Ng 07/30/12
An interesting read with great characterization.
Hiram Claudio07/31/12
Well written story that held the reader's interest throughout.
Beth LaBuff 07/31/12
I enjoyed your modern tale with hints to new testament characters. You get top marks from me on the creativity meter. :)