The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 412 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
07/21/12
How quickly wedded bliss can become wedded confusion, right? What is normal and expected for one is not so normal for the other.

Twice in your story you narrated an action for Jordan, and then Grace spoke. When I started to read her dialogue, I assumed it was Jordan speaking, but then quickly figured out it wasn't. For instance: Jordan hopped up on the counter. "That make you feel taller?"

You did have a line spaced between the two, so maybe that should have been my clue, but something to think about.

Your dialogue was believable and playful (including the line I just mentioned). Cute story!
07/21/12
Oh I loved this. It was quick moving and such an easy and delightful read. It had so many cute issues throughout. Adorable.

Thank you. God bless~
I enjoyed this story and was pleased they worked it out. Though it probably would have been a good thing to discuss before the wedding. I think the thing that struck me the most is how they hadn't been taught to be independent. More and more parents are doing everything for their kids leaving them helpless in a grown up world. I'll never forget my son thanking me for making him do chores. He had learned in one of his classes that one of things new couples fight over the most is not knowing how to function in the real world. Your story really brought that message home and while your couple resolved many don't and the marriage can end in a disaster. I think your story should be required reading for parents and as a pre-marital counseling session.
07/24/12
Reminds me of me when I married at nineteen, didnt know how to cook, clean or iron. Oh, well, it lasted ten years! lol

This is a wonderful, great story and it had me all the way. I love your writing.

God Bless
Definitely a prerequisite reading for premarital counseling. You did a great job presenting things that are actually trivial in the overall scheme of things, but can become major issues once the glow of the honeymoon is gone and real life kicks in. Nicely done, indeed.
07/24/12
You've given me so many smiles. I think my favorites are, "You make great breakfast food. When it’s your turn to cook, you do breakfast. When it’s my turn, we’ll order out. " and "we have two sets of parents and four sets of grandparents. I'd say that should do us for a while." :) She's smart! :) I love your title and your story thoroughly entertains! :)
07/24/12
What an adoreable story and a different take on the topic. At first, I thought perhaps this was one of those stories about control. I was glad to see that it wasn't. I thought your ending was quite cute. I loved it! Excellent job!
Very cute and good characterization. Your last line is great!
Congratulations for ranking 18th overall!