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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: In The Kitchen - deadline 7-19-12 @ 9:59 AM NY Time (07/12/12)

TITLE: The Fridge
By Sandra Hartman
07/17/12


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THE FRIDGE

The cavernous kitchen stretched before me the gleaming floor mirrored my anxious face as I entered. I made my way toward the one appliance in the room that drew me forward like a magnet the giant Fridge that towered over all else. Its generous surface was covered with colorful pictures and drawings. I wondered if any of mine were still there. I lost hope as I viewed the beautiful pictures before me. One with horses caught my eye. They seemed almost to trot off the paper. Portraits of people graced the fridge further up towards the handle. These were interesting caricatures drawn by an obviously skilled hand.

Farther up on the freezer door flowers blossomed with vivid color and exotic birds looked down on me with black sparkling eyes.
I sighed. I just didn’t have that kind of talent. It wasn’t that I didn’t try. I tried and tried and kept trying but mine always turned out a little distorted not quite alive. Sometimes I made little mistakes that I couldn’t correct.

I heard footsteps coming and turned to see His feet approaching. I hid the ragged piece of art that I had just finished behind my back.

“What do you have for me today?” He asked smiling down on me.

“Hmmmmm”—my heart pounded my palms began to sweat and I felt like saying, ‘nothing,’ but then He already knew what was in my hand.

I slowly held out my poor piece of artwork. Some of the colors already had begun bleeding together into unpleasant shades.

“I’m sorry,” I said as He examined it intently.

“I really tried—I mean I thought it was good—until I saw the rest—I know I still don’t have it quite right. Maybe tomorrow I’ll have a better one,” I said holding out my and to take what I thought would be a rejected picture.

“Oh no you don’t!” He said, “ I must have this one. I’ll place it right up there with some of my newest ones so everyone walking by can see it and when they ask I will tell them this one is special because it is from you.”
I was stunned—“it’s not that good,” I protested.

“Who says?” He asked.
I pointed at the others.





“Oh I know. They are good aren’t they? But –well take this one for instance,” he pointed to a gorgeously painted picture of a girl stroking a horses neck. “Now the first ones he brought me-- well let me see-- I have them here.” He pulled open a large wooden kitchen drawer. From it he picked up some pictures.

“Here see this the picture?” I looked to see a very rough drawing of what I supposed was a horse though it was difficult to tell from its distorted head and tiny legs.

Then understanding dawned—“That is the same artist?” I asked incredulously.

“Oh yes! It took time and work for them to achieve what you see today.” -

“And you kept it?”

“ Yes of course I keep all my children’s art here. To me every stroke they put to the paper is amazing and wonderful you know why? I shook my head,” because they are my children and I love them as only a Father can. You see some of these pictures up here with yours are a little rough but that’s ok it’s the giver of the gift and the heart in which they created the art that matters most. Some of these will never be great painters but their work will always be dear to my heart. Just so long as they keep trying and don’t give up. That is all I ask-- Never, never give up!”

( A fictional account of God’s kitchen and His fridge)


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This article has been read 152 times
Member Comments
Member Date
CD Swanson 07/19/12
Adorable, clever, fresh and completely different. I loved this piece. Nicely done, and comepletely on topic...Thanks~

God Bless~
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 07/19/12
This is a lovely story. I liked how you showed the conflict right away. So many of us feel unsure and not good enough, especially when we compare ourselves to others around us.

Some tiny red ink --You didn't use any commas at all except at the end of a quote. Punctuation can be a tricky thing. On the forums there is a thread called Jan's Writing Basics that helps greatly when trying to remember all of those fussy little rules. Another thing you might want to consider is instead of using taglines like she said or he replied take that space to describe what the speaker is doing. For example "It's no good." She lowered her head and could feel her cheeks burning. This lets you know that she is speaking and it gives you insight into her emotions.

However those things are just mechanics. The real meat of the story is your original and fresh take on the topic. I chuckled at the footnote and immediately pictured how God's kitchen with its colorful fridge must look like. Even more important is the message. It's so true that at some point, even the Masters were all beginners. Only by practicing and receiving feedback from reliable sources can we ever hope to improve. This is true in our faith and your story showed how important it is to make sure we have back-up helping us back on the path when we stumble Excellent story-telling and is perfect for the tween audience.
Genia Gilbert07/22/12
I love the underlying meaning here, and am personally grateful that God accepts even our unskilled offerings to Him. I enjoyed this.
Hiram Claudio07/23/12
A great message! I really enjoyed the wonderful way you painted the conversation between the child and the adult ... and then related that to our relationship with God. It made everything so real. A wonderful piece of writing!
Leola Ogle 07/24/12
Oh, how I loved the symbolism here. We bring our gifts to the Father, but we feel they aren't good enough or not as good as someone else's. Yet Father loves each gift and sees our potential. At least, this is what this entry spoke to my heart. God bless!
Noel Mitaxa 07/26/12
How clever of you - an article about a fridge that doesn't leave your readers cold! Love how you have communicated a growing sense of trust and appreciation through the whole piece. Well done.