The Official Writing Challenge
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This is a sweet story. I could easily envision that own journey in my life as well. There is just something about looking back on one's mistakes but feeling secure in the knowledge that through Christ those mistakes are only a distant memory.

Just a couple of tiny red ink. This story was riveting but it was mostly telling. Just one example might be this line -- Wow, it really did seem like they were only yesterday. It's a passive sentence and is telling perhaps if you could mix it up just a bit --The images whirled past her mind as clear and sharp as the day she entered high school. I know that's not a great example and often with testimonials it is harder to show than tell. You did an excellent job of telling though. Even though I didn't necessarily get pictures in my head I did feel like I was right next to you as you retold the story of that girl.

The other thing is tiny but when Mom speaks , make sure you start a new paragraph.

There are so many lessons in this story. As a mom myself, I like the one listen to your mother! :) You had a great start. pretty much everyone can relate to seeing a message like that on FB. The topic makes me a tad nervous. I think it was creative but unless I'm mistaken this quarter the winning stories will be published in an anthology so the topic needs to be more specific to an actual picnic. But you did a fantastic job of journeying through life. I like how the husband came around. Sure it took time but she never gave up on him and that will give hope to lots of spouses whose partners have lost their way. Nice job.
07/12/12
I agree that there are other women out there who would identify with what the narrator went through and it was a well-written and interesting story. I wonder though if the husband made too quick a conversion. I know that God works miracles, but I would have liked to see more tension before his acceptance of the Word.
07/13/12
This was interesting, and uplifting as the changes in your MC and her thinking were obvious. It does show that even when life is hard, it can be turned to good if we let God into the picture.
07/13/12
Very uplifting story with a great message of hope in Christ, despite the life mistakes that are made!

I do think it was off-topic, though. As I read I wondered when the actual picnic was going to come into things!

I especially loved your wording in the first and last lines. Good writing! :)
07/13/12
Very encouraging and credible story, which could be even more engaging with some extra sights and sounds behind the words.
07/13/12
I found this entertaining while providing a powerful message. It was well written and well told. Good job.

Thank you.

God bless~
07/16/12
A lovely, credible story with a good ending. I think it could be improved by showing, not telling but otherwise it was a good read and a different take on the topic.
07/16/12
I can definitely relate to the MC in this story, even the part where she wished he would hit her sometimes instead of the criticism and stinging words. You would definitely have to have lived through this to understand that feeling. But unfortuntaely mine didn't have the happy ending of this story. (but I am VERY happy now). This was so well written, it gave me goosebumps. God bless!
07/18/12
I really enjoyed this story and the message it brings for us all. This was well written, flowed without effort and left you with a nice feeling at the end that made you think. Well done!