The Official Writing Challenge
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The opening line really pulled me in. I could sense the tension of the conflict immediately. I love reading about mission trips into worlds I can barely imagine. We are so blessed, even as missionaries - the group was blessed as I would guess not every local would have electricity. We need to remember to appreciate the little things.

Just a couple of tiny bits of red ink. First, I think you might be surprised if you go back and count how many times you used phrases with the word power in it. I know there aren't a lot of substitutes but electricity, lights, generator come to mind. Also perhaps restructuring some sentences might help with overusing it. For example We ate in candlelight and used water from the creek to replace the water from the electrical pumps. (Not a great sentence but wanted to give you an idea of what I was saying.)

The other thing is I worry that it might be a tad weak on topic. Though you used a familiar phrase, it wasn't about a picnic. This quarter the winners will be published in an anthology instead of the magazine so I think you may need to try and stick more to the actual topic than the more general interpretations we were allowed last quarter. (But that may just be my interpretation and I could be totally off base)

You did a great job of making me feel like I was in Africa with you. I even had a whiff of body odor as I read (perhaps I need to shower :) I think this story will be a great inspiration to families to reach out and experience mission trips. It really can change one's entire outlook. I can picture if the power was out here people wouldn't have been so patient. It would be on the national news. (in fact last week it was) I think it was terrific how you showed the different way another part of the world reacts to a convenience that so many of us take for granted. Nice job.
07/12/12
I enjoyed this. I get what you are saying. Our joy doesn't hinge on outward circumstances because our Joygiver is always with us and in us. I'm glad, because life is so hard sometimes, especially in some of those poorer countries.

I did see a phrase "by day third" that I'm sure was something you were re-wording and missed it.

It is a great and inspirational story and worth sharing. My hat goes off to you for enduring so patiently.
07/13/12
I found this to be a sheer delight to read and a testimony to the individuals who go to ALL NATIONSmof the world to preach the Word.

It gave the reader a microcosm peek into what goes on across the oceans...while providing a prolific message.

The simple amenities we take for granted as we go through life are startling in comparison to what some people would find a blessing.

I loved this entire piece. It touched my heart. Beautifully written. Thanks for sharing.

God Bless you~
07/13/12
Correction: Oops~


I found this to be a sheer delight to read and a testimony to the individuals who go to ALL NATIONS of the world to preach the Word.
07/13/12
having been on mission trips to tropical areas where the humidity was so overpwering that it took at least three showers a day just to stay awake, this is so true to life. Yet it's no travelogue, as you have kept emphasising the reason for your trip.
07/16/12
I love mission stories. My son-in-law just returned from taking 30 kids in his youth group to Puerto Rico. Last year mt pastor son-in-law went with a group to El Salvador. Next year my husband is going with some men to Trinidad to help build a church. Our family has been involved in mission work for years. Thanks for sharing this well written entry. God bless!

















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Congratulations for ranking 9th in level 3!
07/23/12
I will try to remember to feel the blessing bestowed upon me each time I flick on the light switch and the bulb lights up. Your essay reminded me of my many other blessings. Thank you.