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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: PICNIC - deadline 7-12-12 @ 9:59 AM NY Time (07/05/12)

TITLE: A Walk in the Park
By Fiona Stevenson


A walk in the park. At least that was how it started out, and it wasn’t planned to be any more than that. Really it wasn’t planned anyway. It just happened.

For a midwinter’s day it was plu-perfect. The week leading up to it was cold and windy, wet and miserable, but this was a clear sky morning, no frost, no wind, just sunshine. The beginning of school holidays and it was Saturday. The few chores that Mum laid on us were done early and she agreed it was just too good a day to stay indoors. So we put on our walking shoes and headed for the park.

When I say ‘we’ that means me, Bert, my sister Carrie and brother Doug and Shep the dog. When we go walking Mum always makes us take water, and because she thinks young people need sustenance she offered us apples and oranges, which was fine, but I had to call a halt when she wanted to make sandwiches as well. I mean, enough is enough; we were only walking, not camping out. But we accepted Mars Bars and stuff to keep the energy up.

Just down the road we met Bob and Willie doing nothing. At least, Bob was bouncing a ball and Willie was perched on the wall. Both looked bored.

“Hi, Carrie.” Willie was Carrie’s classmate. “What are you guys doing?”

“Walk in the park.” Carrie as a girl was outnumbered, Willie was another girl. “Want to come?”

“Sure thing!” Willie and Bob were enthusiastic and raced inside to get provisioned up while we loitered on the path.

Before we reached the park the group had swelled again and as we walked ideas were bandied about, some perhaps’ed and others rejected out of hand. Until Geoff from the church youth group offered to race us to the rocks. The rocks were grouped a little way from the lake shore at the south end of the park. It was a good distance to run but hey, we had all day and plenty of energy to use. The sprinters took off fast with Geoff in the lead. The rest of us jogged along comfortably. It really didn’t matter who got there first, it was just a fun race.

Well, it was a fun race until little Shermie stepped off the path and found a rabbit hole. Well, I don’t know if it was a rabbit hole, but it was a hole and he ended up face down in the grass, squawking. He was near the back of the group so most of us didn’t realise anything was wrong and went on running. But Carrie and Willie had stopped for a breather to discuss girl-things and they heard him and went back. The poor kid had sprained his ankle so they hopped him down to the lake and put his foot in the cold water. Brrr! Willie was wearing a stretchy headband so after they dried his foot with their hankies they bound his ankle with her headband and pinned it with a brooch. He didn’t want to be taken home although they offered, so they wriggled his shoe back on and followed slowly, the two girls helping him to hop and stopping for rests whenever they saw a bench.

Of course Shermie couldn’t climb the rocks but we helped him to a good position where he could sit while we pooled our eats and shared them. It was warm enough to shed our jackets while we explored the rocky outcrop, climbed the trees and kicked Bob’s ball around. We dropped them around Shermie. Carrie and Willie sat nearby still talking girl-talk although the other girls joined us guys kicking the ball. We really didn’t notice the clouds coming up, and the wind only kept us cool. But suddenly there was no sun and the wind was chill instead of cool. Didn’t take long to gather up our stuff and head for home.

But now there was no racing. Shermie had to be carried and we kept close together for warmth. It was a long walk through the park going home. Geoff started singing some of the silly Kid’s Church action choruses like “How did Moses cross the Red Sea?” At first we growled at him but he ignored us and kept singing until we joined him. In the end it was rather fun anyway and helped to warm us up. But it was good to get home and really warm again.

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This article has been read 374 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Lillian Rhoades 07/12/12
Even though this may not be a true story, it seemed to have been a really fun day.

There are a few grammar and punctuation issues, and I suggest more attention be made to "showing" the story rather than telling it.

Thanks for bring back memories of some of the spontaneous excursions I've enjoyed in the past; some were in the park.
C D Swanson 07/13/12
Delightful and entertaining...wonderful job with this descriptive and well written piece.

Thank you so much.

God bless~
Jody Day 07/16/12
Sounds like a fun day. You use many passive verbs. That's something I struggle with as well.

Enjoyed the story:)
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 07/18/12
This is a sweet story and it reminded e me of simpler times. I liked the light teasing but when they needed to band together they did so without thing. Good job.