The Official Writing Challenge
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Wow this was a powerful allegory. You did a splendid job with this one. I can't even think of words to describe the emotions I'm feeling. This is clever and unique, yet simple to understand and relate to.

The only comment of red ink I have kind of contradicts itself. You used the word was quite a few times. Ideally, I'd say try using more active verbs to show your story but I think if my mind hadn't been programmed to spot the telling instead of showing I never would have noticed. But to give you an example-- He was out of his mind with anger --how did that look? Did his face get red and the vein in his neck throb? Or did he lunge toward the blacksmith and raise his fist?

I know it's nearly impossible to perfect a piece in just a week. I'd encourage you to take this story and rework it a bit to show some more active verbs and turn it into a children's book. I think this is the perfect way to illustrate to both child and adult how easy it is to let anger get between us and our King. I see huge things in store for this story. It is one of my favorites ever!
06/16/12
I enjoyed this. I liked the message and see us all in it. Our King has left us with wonderful instructions, and so many have veered from them altogether. That explains why the world is such a mess in many ways. Glad our King has the last Word!
06/16/12
I forgot to say, well written and thought provoking.
06/17/12
I enjoyed this story very much.

Thank you. God bless~
06/21/12
Congrats on your well deserved win! I thoroughly enjoyed the parallels of your storytelling.
Congratulations for ranking 13th overall!
Hi -

A salute to your winning entry.

Thank you for sharing this rich reminder that King Jesus reigns!
06/26/12
Sorry for the late congrats-I've been on vacation-but CONGRATS! Well done!
06/26/12
Congratulations on your winning Challenge! Thanks for your challenge to us, to guard our hearts...
Wing His Words!