The cubical office environment can be a war zone.
A war zone few survive.
Instead of killing bullets its double-crossing treachery.
It’s like the office version of high school mean girls.
“Jade! For crying out loud! E-mail those numbers to me! RIGHT NOW!” says my oh-so-sweet boss, Monica.
I want to launch a paper airplane at the back of her head.
I hear her rant and make jabs at other co-workers before she marches to her office and slams the door.
A collective sigh of relief echoes across the rooms.
My co-worker, Lucas, pops his head over the shared wall to our cubicles. “I’ve got a little dirt on Monica.” His evil grin would make any cartoon villain proud. “Turns out the seminar for national current affairs her husband went to last week was on more than the nation’s current affairs. They’re getting a divorce.” He says.
“Wow! Do you think that’s why she’s been so awful lately?” I question.
“She probably deserved it. I bet she drove him to it. She’s a real witch.” Lucas states without any mercy. “Everybody thinks that.”
“Everybody knows?” I asked shocked. My jaw takes the elevator to the bottom floor, and I stare at Lucas with big eyes.
“Yeah, her personal assistant saw the court date in her itinerary. He’s been telling everyone he sees. I’m surprised that you hadn’t heard already. But next time she starts yelling at you, you can smile to yourself. Course she’s going to be even worse now.” Lucas says. “It’s a little bitter-sweet.” He laughs at his own dumb joke and disappears behind the cubicle wall.
I sit there dumbfounded for few seconds. A big part of me wants to laugh and join in with Lucas’ she-had-it-coming philosophy. But I have this awkward feeling. It’s swirling up through my chest and squeezing my heart.
Oh, blast it!
I feel compassion for the woman!
I actually feel compassion for the woman who has made the last two years of my life miserable. Who denied me all of my earned vacation time. The woman who yells at me everyday. Who has never had a nice or positive thing to say to me. Who told me that if I was going to work so “slow” then I might as well go get a job in fast food because that’s where rejects like me belong.
I walk a fine line in my work environment. It’s a line where on one side I have to be positive and not punch anyone in the face because I’m a Christian, and I feel like Jesus would frown upon that.
On the other side of the line is the frustrated employee who is tired of being beaten down. The one who is dying to strike back. The one who is ready to say…
Jesus would frown upon anything the frustrated, angry me would have to say.
I really don’t know what to do.
I’m ready to quit. And I’m ready to stick it out.
I don’t want to let the compassion in me work its way out. To maybe let Jesus shine a little. I want so desperately to dish out the lima beans that have been shoved down my throat for so long.
But the more I focus on that, the bitterer and angrier I become.
I’m so tired of feeling that way.
I guess all I can do is focus more on God, and know that no weapon formed against me can remain intact against Him.
Take each day, one day at a time.
And praise God.
Because He is God.
And no matter what’s going on in my life, that’s enough reason to praise Him.
And I guess, keep a lid on what the frustrated, angry side of me has to say.
I really hate it when I know the answers to my problems.
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