Questions A Student Never Wants to See on a Test – The Re-Take
(With Given Answers)
Boys: Name three events in rhythmic gymnastics.
Syncopated Drum Stick Juggling, Half-Time Waltzing, and Staccato Formation Marching
Girls: Name three football positions.
On top of the ball, under the player, and bottom of the pile
Allegory is the use of figurative language to explain how inventing the internet can solve the world-wide epidemic of global warming.
Why should you get an annual flu vaccination?
So I don't spend the entire Christmas break in bed, only to recover just in time to return to jail. I mean school.
What was the original purpose of the British colonies in Australia?
Originally, the British government wished to explore the ramifications of alligator wrestling. It was soon discovered, however, that alligator wrestling was generally not a favorable pastime, and though the experiment was abandoned, the citizens were thought to have suffered from their experience. Not wanting to deal with an angry mob upon return to Britain, the government decided to instead turn Australia into a much desired vacation paradise.
What were the two sides during the Civil War?
Democrats and Republicans
Pointillism is when you make it a point to make your painting as abstract as possible, to the point where even if you look at the canvas from a distance, squint, and use your imagination, it still does not look like what it is supposed to be. Much like my painting skills.
Describe the "Big Bang Theory."
God said, "Let there be light" and BANG! It happened.
Explain how simple machines reduce the amount of force needed to complete a task.
Simple machines are so simple, that you can teach a small child to use them, thus reducing the force you yourself need to complete the task. Forcing the child to complete the task, however, is an entirely different matter.
Translate the following: Where is the rest room?
It's right down the hall, but unless you have nerves of steel, I recommend using the rarely used restrooms at the end of the math hallway. By the way, thanks for reminding me. *Student raises hand*
Name three composers who represent the Baroque period.
Barack Obama's great, great, great, great (do I have enough "greats" yet?) grandfather, Ifitaint Baroque Dontfixit, and Ithinki Baroque Mileg.
What is a monologue?
Similar to the monorail, a monologue is a popular ride at amusement parks where people sit in a single hollowed out log and careen down water slides. Names such as "Log Flume" and "Log Ride" are much more popular terms for the monologue.
Explain how MARFF is used.
Well, MARFF the Math Man's girlfriend is Poly Nomial. He wears a FOIL cape, and his favorite food is pi.
What grade do you deserve in this class? Please explain.
I clearly deserve an A. Not only am I extremely creative, but also, if I don't receive an A, my parents may kill me. You don't want to be responsible for the death of your favorite student, do you?
*Al Gore is a former vice-president and presidential candidate of the US. He is rumored to have said he "invented the internet" and is a strong advocate of global warming awareness.
**Genesis 1:1 (NASB)
***MARFF is a method I was taught in high school to factor trinomials. Don't ask me how it works, because even with an explanation, I think I remember how to do it, but I wouldn’t want you to test me on it. :) http://fhn.fhsd.k12.mo.us/swillott/memory%20aides.html#MARFF
The answer is actually a very small part of something my teacher, classmates, and I came up with throughout the school year, using various math terms.
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