The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
06/01/12
This is a very interesting story. I did find one sentence that confused me. "She would make it he thought his eyes memorized by New York in the distance" Maybe you meant mesmerized (I had to look up the spelling. lol). And the phrase - he thought - could be set apart with commas. But that is easily fixed, and it's still a great story. Good entry!
Thanks! I saw the mistakes after I posted it. Serves me right for sending it in at the last minute. Thank you!
06/01/12
I love this story!!! It reminds me of ones I heard about my ancestors coming to America from Ireland. Back then, they worked hard and made a good life for themselves in America. Sadly, so many today think the government owes them everything. God bless those that come here and work hard for a better life. Thanks for sharing this wonderful story. God bless!
06/02/12
You delivered a wonderful story packed with emotions and truths. I remember my great grandmother and grandparents telling me their stories when they came to America. So many of us can relate to this well written entry. And, the people back then, seemed so determined and tenacious!

Thank you. I loved this.

God bless~
06/04/12
Nice work and a very touching and moving story about the many questions that can feel the heart of one in the MC's position. This was well written and I liked that it is a true story. Well done!