The Official Writing Challenge
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05/31/12
A very creative take on the topic (which I thought you covered very well). I like the MC's resolve at the end about choosing trust in the Lord over her questions. This might seem like a challenging or sobering story to some but I found it among the best kind of stories ... ones that make you think. Well done!
05/31/12
An all together prolific piece that was crafted in a clever way. Great job with this...I loved the ending and how she was immediately able to walk and feel better once her spiritual body was out of the flesh one. And the parents welcoming her. Gave me chills. I saw my earthly father's face when you wrote that part. Thanks.

God bless~
05/31/12
Wow! How sobering! I love how the MC was in a place of tranquility most of the time. I've often wondered about people in this vegetative state. Your entry gave us much to think about. God bless!
06/02/12
When I first began reading this entry, I figured it would have a different outcome. I don't know if this actually happened to someone you know, but you write with such knowledge of the person in that broken body, I wonder. I did notice that you seemed to jump from tense to tense and that perhaps my lack of understanding. All in all, your entry, although a difficult subject to read through, was very well-presented and well-written.
Greetings -

Thank you for this piece that gives much to ponder. It's good to be challenged in our thinking.

Please note:

Paragraph that begins, "It was about.." - fifteen year old should be fifteen-year-old.
This is a bittersweet piece. I know that God will allow the spirit to hang on until something that needed to be done is taken care of. When my mom's aneurysms ruptured, I had been in the hospital and it took me a few days to get up to see her. When I walked in the alarms went off her BP skyrocketed. But soon signs that things weren't working right showed up. The next time I saw Mom I knew she had left this body that was being kept alive by machines because she didn't have a glow about her anymore. Your story reminded me of that. God will rally for us until we hear the right thing that makes a difference forever.