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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Risk (05/17/12)

TITLE: buck fever
By Jim McWhinnie
05/23/12


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his innocence is his wildness,
a harkening back to my own,
within my lost remembrance
i have seen him before,
i have heard his hooves splash these ancient waters,
i have heard his silent footsteps as they stirred the forest leaves,
i have felt his gaze as he studies me from afar,
i have felt his heartbeat quicken as measures the wisdom of his fear,
i am hunter,
he is hunted,
and together we struggle to live beyond the fences of Eden time.
why does he not break and run?
he taunts me.
he lets me know that i too am part of this primal moment,
have i the courage to engage the wild once more?
or shall i retreat
into my tame and tepid existence,
in cubicles of caution and towers of timid spirits,
where life is merely waiting for whimpered ends
clothed in blankets of old and weak?
there he stands on the very edge of flight,
looking at me with pleading thoughts,
“Come and chase me toward the mountain peak
and across the virgin meadow,
and together we shall have lived.”


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This article has been read 380 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Verna Cole Mitchell 05/25/12
Absolutely beautiful!
Allison Egley 05/25/12
Oh, I like this. Nice job.
Graham Insley 05/25/12
Wow! You certainly belong in the masters section.

I think you have used lower case deliberately. I will spend some time pondering those lower case i. Even sentence beginnings are lower case.

If it isn't deliberate, I still like the thought that it is.

Thank you.
CD Swanson 05/25/12
Deeply penetrating...loved it. Thank you. God bless~
Leah Nichols 05/25/12
I could feel every word. Excellent writing.
Helen Curtis05/25/12
Beautifully written. Well done.
Becky Depp 05/26/12
This was very nice, I could imagine everything in it.

I too wonder about the lower cases. Perhaps since the MC was hunting it was a metaphor for being quiet? At any rate, Nice job!
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 05/26/12
Wow this is a moving piece. I really enjoyed the mirror image from the first part of it to the second. Very well done.
Lillian Rhoades 05/26/12
Lots of food for thought here. As usual, you have crafted a masterful poem. Even more so, because I had to pause a moment at the last two lines. Meaning? Oh, yes! Okay. :-)
Allen Povenmire 05/28/12
"shall i retreat
into my tame and tepid existence,
in cubicles of caution and towers of timid spirits"

I took that as a modern man caught up in his mundane world of 9 to 5, yet the freedom of real life called out to him...hope I got it because I thoroughly enjoyed it!
lynn gipson 05/29/12
this is absolutely one of the best pieces I had read on Faithwriters if not the best.....just gave me goosebumps. Thank you and God Bless you....