The Official Writing Challenge
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This is a powerful story. You did a great job of showing the fear, anger, and confusion the MC experienced.

I think you may have meant to write abyss instead of ibis which I believe is a bird :)

I really liked the ending and am glad you didn't make it a dream. You really did a nice job on getting your message out there.
05/26/12
This was a graphic detailed and scary entry. Nice job and well written, certainly on topic.

Thanks. God Bless~
Hi -

Wow! This is a powerful and harrowing account indeed!

Indeed, this piece seizes...

Wow!

Please note:

The title could be stronger. My sentiment is that it's wattage is considerably dimmer than the high voltage and powerful content.
05/29/12
A risk no one can afford to take! You've captured the regrettable scene very well of one who have chosen to wait till it's too late. A nicely written piece.
05/29/12
Very powerful emotional pictures and sounds in a very challenging piece. Well done.