The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
05/17/12
Excellent job with this. Such a well written and powerful piece. The ending was simply magnificent. I truly enjoyed this. Thanks.

God Bless~
You did a great job with this. I love it when an author gets me to think in a way I haven't before. You accomplished that. The ending is such a great lesson.
05/18/12
This is an amazing story. I loved it.

One suggestion I would make is that the Biblical story is not well known. So unless you were well versed in the Bible you probably wouldn't catch the drift. I would suggest putting the Bible reference in towards the end so people could look it up to see what you were refering to.

Good job. Continue glorifying the Lord with you writing.
05/19/12
I enjoyed reading this, and was surprised at the setting revealed at the end. I'd never thought of it in that way, but it is a great contrast of pride (wanting fame) versus humility.
05/19/12
Wow! This is such a powerful piece; it leaves me speechless. I absolutely love the last line of your entry. It says it all. Excellent writing!
05/21/12
You have done a terrific job of bringing this story to life... a favorite of mine, though a bit obscure. Nicely done.
05/22/12
Totally mesmerized me. A great rendition of a bible story. I love it. Well written. Good job! God bless!
Congratulations for ranking 8th in level three!
Marina, great development of this story. Though I know the story from the Bible you had me wondering right up until the end. I have never thought of these warriors of David in quite that way, brilliant. Congratulations. I loved it.