The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 507 times
Member Comments
An important message and beautiful sense of reality. This entry was done in a clever way while bringing forth a wealth of information for one to consider.

I loved the interaction and the powerful dialogue between the child and parent.

Thank you. God Bless~
This is a super sweet story. I loved the idea of dad and daughter having the special quiet time together.

The first paragraph seemed a tad stilted and that you were doing more telling than showing. Just a simple thing like giving the girl a name and rephrasing the first sentence something like this -- Daddy and Emily snuggled into bed to read a story, when Daddy noticed his daughter furrowing her eyebrows. That's just a quick example to show you what I'm trying to say.

This would make a darling kids stories. With some slight polishing, I could see it as a early reader book. I love the lesson in the end. I also really appreciate that though the father helped the daughter resolved the conflict herself. Often when adults write for kids the adult in the story is the hero. Here you bring it full circle and deliver a perfect message without coming off as preachy.
A great piece and very well written.

The only critique I can give is that the first line or two didn't really grab me. Once I got into it I was fine, but I feel it needed more of a hook.

You write a really good story and I thank you for the lesson.
I love that this article is based on a true story, as well as the father-daughter thing. One teenage boy I knew needed to go shopping for school clothes; but, after two weeks working in a Mexican orphanage, he told his mother he just couldn't buy any new clothes for the school year beginning in the next month. He already had so much. His little Mexican buddy had only one shirt and one pair of pants. Hopefully, your MC was able to help his child communicate the truth of "real riches" when she returned to school. Nice job.
The story fit the title well. Wealth can truly be a matter of perspective and is founded on being happy and thankful for what we do have.
I loved this...precious relationship between father and daughter...excellent
I loved this...precious relationship between father and daughter...excellent
This was a good story about a simple truth of riches that were imparted to a child's heart at an early age.

I really enjoyed reading this!
That was a very touching story with a great message. Would that we who have so much could be satisfied with what we have.

The beginning of it could stand some work. I thought Shann had a good suggestion.