Home Read What's New Join
My Account Login

Read Our Devotional             2016 Opportunities to be Published             Detailed Navigation

The HOME for Christian writers! The Home for Christian Writers!
The Official Writing Challenge



how it works
submission rules
guidelines for
choosing a level


submit your entry
read current entries
read past entries
challenge winners

Our Daily Devotional HERE
Place it on your site or
receive it daily by email.



how it works   Submit

Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Don’t Look Back (04/19/12)

TITLE: The Vow
By Dannie Hawley


The lanky, young Yitzhak scanned faces in the courtyard until his eyes locked on hers. The joy of life exploded from within the returning Israelite’s breast at the sight of Hayalah’s smile. He had been away such a long time.

“Hayalah, my beautiful gazelle! How empty my heart has been without you!” In four long strides, the joyful youth covered the distance, eager arms raised to envelop his beloved. Instead of the warmth Yitzhak had so long anticipated, Hayalah’s outstretched palms resisted his embrace.

“Yitzhak, oh my dear Yitzhak. You’ve not heard. Come! We must talk.”

Confusion furrowed Yitzhak’s brow as fear gripped him; the stinging in his eyes added to the pain suddenly sweeping over him. What could have happened in his absence? Hayalah tenderly took his hand in hers, leading him to the olive grove. Hadar glanced up from her work as they passed. Was that sadness Yitzhak had seen in the face of Hayalah’s mother?

Sitting on their familiar make-shift stone bench, Hayalah dropped his hand, turning her slender, youthful body to face him. ”What is it? Has something happened to your father?” Hayalah’s lips parted in such a lovely smile when she responded.

“No, my dear Yitzhak; Father is fine. He is still the mighty warrior he has always been. In fact, Father led the Israelites to victory over the Ammonites just three months ago. Did word not reach you in the Negev?”

Yitzhak shook his head, his eyes narrowed, and the corners of his mouth turned down, as they always did when deep in thought. “No, but what has that to do with us, Hayalah? Of course, I rejoice in the triumph over our enemies but...” Hayalah’s tanned fingertips touched his lips to silence him.

“It has everything to do with us. My father made a vow to the Lord.” Suddenly he understood. The scream of recognition ripped from the grimacing lips of Yitzhak and rode the wind.

“No-o-o-o! No, Jephthah! No! Your daughter’s not yours to give. Hayalah’s mine.” Wracking sobs nearly obliterated the rest of Yitzhak’s words. “Hayalah and I… since we were children… We made a vow to each other. I was going to propose this very night. No! It cannot be.” Without realizing his action, Young Yitzhak began the slow side-to-side swaying so common when speaking prayers for the dead. His groans were felt by all who heard him; everyone knew the young couple.

“S-s-sh, Yahweh isn’t a God Who doesn’t care about us. Has His plan not been to deliver us from our enemies? Haven’t we willingly joined in to do our part, Yitzhak?”

“Of course, but this, this is too much. Why you, Hayalah?”

“It was a devastating shock to Father when he saw me come out of the house to greet him, dancing with joy over the victory. Father had not offered his only child, but the first thing to come out of the house. I didn’t know of the vow, of course. I was just so thrilled and proud of him; I could not let a servant be the first.” Yitzhak shook his head, rubbing his large, rugged hands up and down over his wet face, groaning with each of Hayalah’s words.

Finally, she could bear his agony no longer, pulling one of his hands to her lips. “Oh, my Yitzhak, how I’ve prayed for this moment, that God would give you strength and understanding.” Hayalah’s voice started to tremble.

“My father’s been the family’s outcast his entire life. His brothers never accepted him and said he would have no inheritance from Grandfather Gilead because his mother was a prostitute. Don’t you see how important it was that they came to ask for Father’s help? The victory was for him as much as for Israel.”

“But, what about us? Will you never marry then?” Still holding his hand in hers, glistening eyes met Yitzhak’s.

“No, I will never marry. My heart was ripped from within me that day because I remembered our childhood vow. You and I under the wedding canopy was my only dream.” Hayalah paused until her voice steadied.

“But, in the two months of secluded mourning with my friends, we also sought the Lord. I have earnestly prayed for God to blanket you with the same peace and comfort that He’s given me. Yahweh has a plan for my life, my beloved friend. Likewise, He has not forgotten you; He will speak. Let’s look forward, with expectancy, to His path set before us now.”

Author's Note: While all of the personal names are real Hebrew names, only the names of Jephthah and his father, Gilead, are mentioned in the account recorded in Judges Chapter 11.

The opinions expressed by authors may not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.
Accept Jesus as Your Lord and Savior Right Now - CLICK HERE
JOIN US at FaithWriters for Free. Grow as a Writer and Spread the Gospel.

This article has been read 478 times
Member Comments
Member Date
PamFord Davis 04/26/12
Gripping and tender story based on God's Word. I could just see that scene as "her fingertips touched his lips to silence him." I'm sure her fingers were trembling.

Wing His Words!
C D Swanson 04/27/12
Excellent job based on "Biblical characterizations" brought to life...I enjoyed this well written piece which touched my heart.

Nicely done. Thank you.

God Bless~
Hiram Claudio04/30/12
This was so creative and written so well. The unique perspective of this familiar story brought a new light and life to it. Awesome work here!
Ada Nett05/01/12
Your writing set up visual images as I read through the words, which made the story very enjoyable to me as a reader.You built up interest as the story progressed and fulfilled your obligation as the writer to reveal the identity of your characters with just the right timing. You also encouraged me to go back and read the actual account in scripture. Thank you for an interesting read.
Theresa Santy 05/01/12
Fantastic adaptation of Biblical history. Tone, voice, and flow were spot on.

After reading this, I grabbed my bible and read the referenced chapter, because I wanted to find out more about this story!
Leola Ogle 05/01/12
Wonderful, wonderful, wonderful! So vivid - I felt like I was there. Great job. God bless!
Nancy Bucca05/02/12
I felt so badly for the couple. What a painful piece of news. Quite an interesting take on the topic too.
Graham Insley05/03/12
How difficult it is to believe that 'all things work together for good', when something as tragic and painful as this smacks you in the face. And yet... they do.

Well written and pondering on the message is quite challenging.
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 05/03/12
You have done a delightful job of bringing the chapter to life. God has used your words to encourage others to pick up the Bibles. This message will spread on and on. Thank you for listening to God's calling and attempting your Biblical fiction story. I have a feeling more fiction will come from you! Outstanding writing!
PamFord Davis 05/03/12
Congratulations for your high ranking with this entry!

Wing His Words!
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 05/03/12
Congratulations for ranking 6th in level three and 18th overall! Happy Dance!!!