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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Don’t Look Back (04/19/12)

TITLE: What is it like to die?
By Clyde Blakely
04/22/12


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“Adam.”

“Yes, my dear.”

“What do you think it’s like to die?”

Eve’s perceived it too! She’s been so quiet, pensive of late. How do I answer her? I love her so.

Forcing a smile, “What do you mean?”

“Adam, you’ve noticed it. I’ve seen it in your eyes. The signs are everywhere.”

“Signs?”

“Adam! You know what signs I’m talking about; for one, it’s getting colder at night?”

Change the subject, “You have been snuggling closer lately,” adding a wink.

“Adam, you know what I mean.”

That didn’t work. “Yes, I’ve noticed, a little…maybe,” voice cracking.

“Do you believe it’s starting to happen? That we are starting to die and the world too? Be truthful with me,” eyes fixed on his.

“These changes might not be anything to be concerned about…”

Waving her arms, “Adam, look around you! Nothing like this has ever happened before. Everything’s dying. We’re dying! Just like God said we would,” glancing eastward.

Taking her in his arms, “I’m so, so sorry. Eve, you’ve been a wonderful partner and I’ve enjoyed the life we’ve made for each other after leaving the garden,” tears streak their faces.

The warmth of their bodies reminds them of the chill in the air.

“Eve, I have been considering the changes for some time: it’s slowly getting worse. I was hoping it would stop or reverse but...”

“Adam, I don’t want to die. What’s it going to be like?”

Looking deep into the eyes he’s loved for these few short months, “I guess we can take clues from what’s happening around us.”

“The days are getting shorter, less light each day? Will we slowly go blind?” Pulling Adam closer.

“Perhaps, I don’t know. The sun seems to be getting weaker; it’s not staying up as long or as high in the sky. We may merely get weaker.”

“Adam, the leaves on the trees and plants are turning colors and falling off, they’re dying. Do you think we’ll be turning colors and falling apart too?”

Adam gasp, he had observed Eve’s skin becoming paler, losing her tan, as the days shorten. Lowering her head, “Oh Adam, I knew you noticed!”

He remembers his enlarging stomach; is my chest falling?

Vivid images blaze through their minds of ears and fingers falling off as they slowly die cause Eve to softly mention, voice quivering, “Have you noticed the deer and elk are loosing their antlers?”

She feels Adam’s silent nod.

Hoping to bring calm to his wife’s growing anxiety, “Possibly we’ll be like the bears; they’re starting to go into caves, lie down and go to sleep.”

“Maybe they’ll start falling apart, too!” Eve is unable to control her torrent of tears. “Oh, Adam, could you talk to God about this? I don’t like what I’m seeing for our future; can’t we go back to Eden?”

“I’ve already spoken with God.”

“You have? What did He say?”

“He said we can't return to Eden and this was all part of His plan.”

“Plan? What kind of plan?”

“We are to have patience. He will reveal His plan slowly.”

“Patience! Adam, we’re dying. The whole world is dying. Birds are flying towards the sinking sun, fruit is falling off the trees and rotting, vegetables are getting harder and taste different, even petals are dropping off the roses…Adam, I’m cold,” tightening her grasp around him, “did He say how long until we…?”

“No, but He called this the Autumn time.”

“Autumn?”

“He said it was also called the Fall.”

“Oh, Adam, I don’t want to die falling apart!”


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This article has been read 207 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Hiram Claudio04/26/12
Wow ... this was so clever! I really liked the perspective of Adam and Eve seeing some of the changes in the world and how they interpret them ... especially for the first time. I actually could see this story as a book, showing all the various "1st time" changes they see and how they learn and experience them. Very well done!
Catherine Maher04/26/12
This was so completely enjoyable. Just seeing their fear take hold was amazing, the descriptions you used.
They totally misread the signs. But that's what fear does, makes us think the worst.
Really good work here. Thank you.
Genia Gilbert04/26/12
Interesting and thought provoking. Good writing!
CD Swanson 04/27/12
A very unique approach for the subject at hand. A well written account of "what may have been going on" within their(Adam & Eve) minds after their "sin."

Nicely done. God Bless~
Laura Manley04/28/12
To me this was a very unique way of looking at how Adam and Eve may have looked back at what they had done in the Garden of Eden. Very nice approach on this subject and very good writing!
Geoffrey johnstone04/29/12
This is very clever.

You could use this article in a small group or as part of a sermon illustration.

I like the way you think outside the box. Keep writing!
Leola Ogle 04/30/12
Unique! I've never actually thought about what must've been going through the first humans' minds when faced with death. Clever and enjoyable. God bless.
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 05/01/12
This is such a clever piece. The title drew me in because I have suffered from deathly phobias for as long as I can remember.

The only part I stumbled over were the short spots in between dialog that weren't complete sentences like forcing a smile or voice cracking. If you had just added a pronoun or name He forced a smile it would be easier to picture who was speaking.

I think this POV from Adam and Eve was super clever. I never really thought of it like that before. It's interesting to read other's take on life. It also forces the reader to think which is always a good thing.
Joe Moreland05/02/12
Awesome job. Way to be creative and really come at this topic from a different angle. I could kick myself for not thinking of this myself.

It seems to me you've written this as a script. I think it would be a great skit or even a one act production. Thanks for sharing!