The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
I like how you created the anxious scene at the airport -- the feeling something was left behind. I would have liked to meet your characters earlier in the story (just my opinion.) This had a great message with nice details.
You pulled me into the story right away, and I get that the family had to move. I wanted to know why they were moving to the other side of the earth. Just me. Loved the story.
Your pacing is excellent throughout the family's move, and the voice oozes nostalgia. I think the middle "reflective" paragraphs could be omitted - In my opinion your captivating narrative doesn't need explaining. Beautiful.
This was so good. I loved the intereaction and the internal thoughts of the MC's. Great job.

God Bless~
You certainly have a gift for writing.

The story left me with many unanswered questions which was unsatisfying.

However you had me hooked from the beginning.