Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 - Advanced)
Topic: Threefold Cord (04/12/12)
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TITLE: The Promise | Previous Challenge Entry
By C D Swanson
04/18/12 -
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"Oh my goodness!" Pamela's hands gripped the dashboard, her eyes widening in fear.
"It's okay Pam, we're fine." Kevin's voice wasn't convincing to his own ears.
The moon's reflection on the snow illuminated their surroundings. The windshield wipers swooshing squeaks lost out to the blaring horn, which somehow got jammed during the spin-off.
"Can you start the car Kevin?" Pam's voice was low and small as she looked at her husband for reassurance.
He noticed her hand was bleeding. "Sweetheart, what’s happened to your hand?"
"I must have pinched myself while I was gripping the dashboard," She answered while rummaging through her purse searching for an alcohol wipe. Pam scrunched her face as the pungent smell stung her nostrils in the cold still air.
Kevin glanced at his watch... nine-fifteen. He ran a well-manicured hand over the mahogany dashboard before punching the steering wheel.
"Kevin! What’s that about?"
"I'm trying to stop this horn from honking incessantly."
He looked at his wife's beautiful face, before touching her cheek. The velvety smooth softness reminded him of their baby's skin. Thank God Alexi was home safe with the sitter and not out here stuck in the cold with them.
"Honey I can't get a signal on my cell phone." Pam tasted the bitter bile before pushing it down in her throat. She thought for sure she'd puke, her nerves getting the best of her.
"I know baby, I can't either. Not to worry though, I'm sure someone will come and get us." He kissed her forehead softly before bringing his arms around her securely.
"Oh dear God, please send someone to us...We need to get home to our baby girl." The snow picked up its pace, rapidly covering their car.
"Sweetheart, we’ll be okay. God knows where we are… He’s with us always. Do you recall what He said in Ecclesiastes? Two are better than one…for if they fall, one will lift up his companion."
“And if two lie down together they’ll keep warm; but how can one be warm alone. Though one may be overpowered by another, two can withstand him." Pam said with a newfound calm.
"A threefold cord is not quickly broken." Kevin finished.
Pam smiled and felt a warmth spreading through her body...She knew it was the Holy Spirit helping her, and knew He would help them both.
Kevin bowed his head in prayer; “Lord, we ask for your help, we trust and love you. We were heading home from our charity we’re doing your work Lord. And, as always, all glory and honor to You my God. Please send someone to help us. In Jesus’ name Amen."
"Amen." Pam's voice no longer tinged with anxiety.
Kevin pulled her closer for warmth. “It’s going to be okay Pam…I promise you.” His breath was visible as the temperature continued its decline.
“I believe your promise.”
Suddenly, seemingly out of nowhere, blinding lights overpowered their vision momentarily.
“Excuse me…are you guys alright in there?” The booming voice startled them.
“Yes…we’re okay.” Kevin opened his door, albeit cautiously.
“Hello…” The giant of a man continued, “Looks like you’ll need a boost and a tow out of this ditch.”
“Yes, we certainly do…Thanks.” Kevin smiled and shook his enormous hands.
”Thank God for you…We were beginning to worry,” Pam replied as she walked over to him smiling.
“Not a problem…glad to help out. I’ll get you guys on the road and back home to your little girl in just a second.”
“Thanks.” They replied, and within seconds heard…
“You’re all set.”
“How much do we owe you?” Kevin asked.
“Not one cent, my pleasure. I was on my way home anyhow.”
“What’s your name?” Kevin continued, “We’d like to thank your boss…tell him how kind you’ve been to us.”
“My boss already knows…My name’s Gabe, of Gabe’s Towing Company.”
“Thanks so much.” Kevin’s sincerity echoed in the night air.
As Kevin began the drive home, he glanced at Pam and marveled, “Where did he come from? And, did you tell him we had a little girl?”
“No, I thought you did!”
“Pam, I’ve a strong feeling there’s no such place as Gabe’s Towing Company.”
Looking upward she smiled, “I’m thinking you’re probably right.”
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“Two are better than one, Because they have a good reward for their labor. For if they fall, one will lift up his companion. But woe to him who is alone when he falls, For he has no one to help him up. Again, if two lie down together, they will keep warm; But how can one be warm alone? Though one may be overpowered by another, two can withstand him. And a threefold cord is not quickly broken.” (Ecclesiastes 4:9-12, NKJV)
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The only critique I have is that the story was a tad predictable. There are many stories this week that quote the scripture. A mysterious stranger who turns out to be an angel is also an oft used literary device. For me personally, even though I absolutely believe God will send his angels to watch over us, I think I'd have preferred it had been a kind man who cared about others.
Another strong point were your descriptions. You did an outstanding job painting a picture for me. I could see the scene and even hear the sounds. You also did a wonderful job developing the characters. They felt real and the dialog genuine.
I liked how Gabe appeared - nice job.
I was slightly thrown from the beginning when "we" hit a bump and then Kevin and Pam took "our" place. Otherwise, a good piece of writing.
A friend of mine had a similar accident and while he was unconscious someone turned the hazard lights on that alerted the police.