The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 425 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
04/12/12
This was such a good story. I loved it. It could have been any household on Main Street in the entire world.

Thank you. Nice job.

God bless~
04/12/12
I love this story. Not only because of the message, but because it was written by a very talented writer who knows how to show me the story they want me to see.
Great job!
This is a great Young adult story. I think many early teens could really relate to the MC and the message is a great one.

You may want to do more showing than telling. For example instead of telling that Mom was drunk, show it by having her trip over a wine bottle on the way to the door.

You do a nice job with the dialog. It feels real and I could picture a young teen saying these things. You did a brilliant job of encompassing the topic in a fresh and fun way.
04/12/12
Thanks for letting us know this wasn't true, because you had me convinced. Good writing and a complete gospel message.
04/13/12
Such a poignant tale...so sad and all too common, a parent loving drugs and alcohol more than the children. So heartbreaking. I'm glad Holiday was told of a love that never fails. God bless!
04/15/12
This was a great story! Nicely told.