The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
04/12/12
This entry was filled with many messages, and all of worth. I loved how you tied the scripture in with the overall story...and a lesson that touched your heart and the readers.

Nicely done. God Bless~
04/13/12
I love this story! Who among us has never been 'left' while parents go on a mom/dad only holiday? You expressed childish issues clearly and sweetly.

Also, I love the way you made the association with scripture----well done. It strikes a chord in every child of God's heart.
This is a lovely devotion. I could really relate to the MC's feelings. Even when I was an adult and my parents went on vacation I missed them so.

My only suggestion would be to let your words do the exclaiming for you and save the exclamation points for dialog.

The prayer at the end was delightful and right to the point. Every time one reads them with meaning I'm sure God is enthralled by the words of praise.
I loved the "family" feeling of your piece and the spiritual message, but I must admit what it made me long for most was to hear my parents, now in heaven, say, "I love you."
04/19/12
Congratulations & God Bless~
04/19/12
Beautiful! Congratulations, well done!