The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
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Date
03/15/12
Lots of vivid descriptions in this piece. Good job.
03/16/12
The story was brought to life with this descriptive entry. Nice imagery and great dialogue. Good job.

God Bless~
03/19/12
I've just had breakfast and I'm hungry again already - no, make that ravenous!
This is so well written I can almost smell it.
Great work in your descriptions and in the flow of the story.
03/21/12
An enjoyable read. Excellent writing and plot. Well done!
A very interesting piece. Lots going on. I do have some red ink for you, though.

“I’m in the kitchen a lot so I’m sure you probably had some of my cooking.”

This seems to be in the present tense while the whole experience is set in the past. Then the following is a comment by the Editor and should be in a separate paragraph. Probably an oversight.
“Did you make the grilled cheese and tomato basil soup?”

I sensed a story within a story with the mention of Mrs. Deluca. Not certain how the reference to her being a fashion designer fit in the story line.

I did like it though. In analysis I wonder if there was so many unanswered issues that the wonderful ending lost some of its spunk?
03/22/12
Oh, what a delicious entry! Congratulations on your win.
03/22/12
Oops, sorry about that last part. I was looking at the wrong column. But I did enjoy reading this - very, very much.