The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
This was a fun story. I really liked the ending. The only thing I might suggest is to do more showing than telling but that's something every writer struggles with. The ending was grand. It took me by surprise and made me chuckle. This sounds like the making of a movie!
03/08/12
Great story! It was like a teaser for an upcoming book...or a segue for the beginning of a play. Nicely done. Wonderful imagination.

God Bless~
Now that would be a predicament,for sure! Really enjoyed the pacing of the story and dialog.
03/09/12
I agree with Shann ... this was a lot of fun. It did flow very well and just gave an overall "good feel" to you as you moved through it. Nice work!
03/12/12
An enjoyable read. Well done on a nicely written piece!
Congratulations for placing 12th in level 3!