The Official Writing Challenge
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I love this. It brought tears to my eyes. All of my kids were on the swim team. My son was a natural but my oldest struggled. She worked very hard to come in last place. But I was proud of her. Often times, when she swam the 500 (20 laps) on her co-ed team, she would be in the pool for up to two minutes by herself. That pool echoed with cheers for those two minutes. Parents of the superstars came up and told me how impressive she was to keep swimming through all of those years of losing. In college she swam too and went to Nationals on a relay team. Your story could be my daughter's story. It takes far more guts to swim like your MC did then it does to have that natural talent.
03/01/12
This is a sweet story and fits the topic well! You really made her stuggle and determination with the swimming lessons come alive. I like how the character kept coming back to the encouragement of the "Jesus Loves Me" song and how you used it at the end. Powerful descriptions too.

I did notice a few places where the use of commas would have improved the flow. Also, using italics for the character's thoughts would have added extra "umph" to this already powerful piece. Things like that really catch the reader's eye.
03/01/12
Beautiful, simply beautiful piece. This lovely entry was so powerful, and provided a crucial message.

Encouragement comes in all forms for all types of individuals...This young MC demonstrated the core of encouragement, and endurance.

Nice job with this.

God Bless you~
03/05/12
An enjoyable and encouraging read. Just as we know how it feels like to receive words of encouragement, let us be the ones to also encourage others.
03/07/12
A delightful story about how much words of praise do encourage us. Well written! God bless!
Congratulations for ranking 6th in level 3!