The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
02/23/12
My heart goes out to you. It is so difficult witnessing a parents decline physically, let alone cognitively. I have seen many residents go through exactly as you described...the crying jags, very difficult to stop. But you found a solution to the problem.



Thanks for this well written and poginant story.

God Bless you abundantly~
02/23/12
of course I made a typo
I know poignant is spelled wrong above! Sorry.
God Bless~
You did an excellent job of taking me into a day of your world. My heart hurt both for Mom and daughter.

Tiny red ink - You said It seemed to my brother,... and I. It should be to my brother,... and me. (If it were dialog I wouldn't point it out but since it was in the narrative, I wanted to show you. A good trick is to take out everything but the I or me. You wouldn't say: It seems to I.) Also make sure you capitalize Mom when used as a name.

You did a nice job bringing the topic in in a fresh way. This is such a hard thing many adult children agonize over. Actually, our entire life often seems like one big experiment.

I liked how you made me feel grateful for the little things in life. Also the big things --Mom died at age 57 which I struggled with. I often said I'd rather her live and be mentally challenged from her ruptured aneurysm but as you showed me, the mom I knew would have still died that day. Thank you for sharing your story.
02/28/12
There are so many things about this story that are so compelling. One thing that caught my attention is the scene when you visited your mom with your your granddaughter. I was just touched by the display of generations from your mom to her great grandchild.

These situations are so difficult and your shared this story in such a fluid and inviting way. Great work!
Congratulations for ranking 8th in level three!