The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
02/11/12
Yikes! I kind of sensed the ending early on, and hoped I was wrong. Makes me wonder what happened to Susan...

Nice job on this though. Even though I was expecting a twist and I was right, somehow it sill felt like a twist. :) Nice job building suspense.
02/12/12
Wow - this was a surprise to me. I too was waiting for a twist of some kind! So, I guess that in itself was masterful. Nicely done.
God Bless~
02/14/12
Wow, that was a shock! You did such a great job building up the suspense, I would have liked to read a little more about why she said no; was she annoy that he had taken so long, was she tired of waiting for 'his' perfect future? I think would add to the depth of the characters and take a great story to an excellent one. Well done though on this, I was intrigued.
02/16/12
I enjoyed the story but I too would have liked to have known her reason for refusing him. Possibly she had become too wrapped up in her own career. You just had to feel sad for Kirkland at the end, his long planned out dream gone awry. Interesting read, well done.