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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Astonishment (02/02/12)

TITLE: The Race
By Cheryl von Drehle
02/08/12


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She struggles through the thicket grove
shrouded by her full length coat
making little progress hopelessly entangled
by the brambles scrambling at her feet

She imagines her covering a protection
from brewing storms lurking in the
ominous inky clouds above

She slogs along painfully slow
Pondering her situation
As she wraps her woolen coat closer

She can no longer feel her legs
encumbered as they are
by the sticky wool
that encases her whole being

After several hours of struggle it dawns
on her that being washed away
by the impending flood
would be easier than this

She considers the possibilities
with a meek whimper she peeks
out from under her heavy hood

To her astonishment the day is bright
a fluffy patchwork of cumulus clouds
shining through puffs of refreshing air

She cautiously begins to unwrap

With sudden newborn abandon
she tears the wrap from around her
catches it briefly on a bramble bush
pitches it fiercely off a cliff

Her trembling legs stumble first
then rejoice in unexpected freedom
veer onto the newly visible path
now so clearly marked

vineyards on one side
olive trees on the other
the dreaded thorn bushes
unentangling in the distance

As her feet catch purchase
she breaks into a run
racing along the path with the sun
streaming through her hair

The onlookers equally astonished
with joy but not surprise
cheer her silently on
then turn their attention
to the next racer

*************************************
Therefore since we are surrounded
by such a great cloud of witnesses
Let us throw off everything that hinders
and the sin that so easily entangles
and let us run with perseverance
the race marked out for us
Hebrews 12:1 NIV


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This article has been read 275 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Catherine Maher02/11/12
Oh I just adore this piece. Through the whole story I kept visualizing the soon to emerge butterfly. And in a very warm way, I could really relate. Ha Ha
So smooth and flowy. Loved it.
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 02/12/12
This is lovely and quite poetic. I may be a bit dense but I totally didn't get what was going on until I read the comment. Then I reread this piece and could really picture the beauty you captured with your words.
CD (Camille) Swanson 02/12/12
This was so lovely. It captured me from beginning to end. Great job with this!
Thanks - God bless~
Linda Goergen02/16/12
I love the poem you formed from the scripture. What an amazing visual of the weight of sin and the freedom with it gone. Great job on this!