The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
02/02/12
Great job! I loved how the pilot didn't tell the "kid" anything about being in trouble - wonderful, and so well written. God Bless~
Loved getting the behind-the-scenes look at helicopter flying. Sounds like you either know your stuff or did good research. I always appreciate that. Great background story, too.
Good story and you handled communicating the needed technological stuff for it to make sense well.
02/06/12
The action is INTENSE! My heart is racing. Awesome story.

A couple of notes on the Southern dialect: “..how long've ya'll been..” The correct spelling is "y'all", and it's plural, a contraction of "you all" used when addressing more than one "you". :)

"Gotta shelf full of models.." 'Gotta' is a contraction of "got to", as in, "I gotta read more challenge entries." :)

Super, super adventure. Very good!
Congratulations for ranking 12th in level 4 and overall!