The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
02/02/12
Wow - this was a powerful entry. I felt as if I was witnessing this entire story before my eyes...Your depiction of the MC feeling demoralized by the questioning, and assessment of the Department, made me feel sad, and I cringed.

WOnderful piece of writing.
Thank you for this.
God Bless~
02/08/12
Oh wow! This is so sad and touching, but written exceptionally well. The haltering rhythm portrays the stuttering words of the disabled person. Well done!
I love this. I like how you make the case so convincingly (peal back skin and scalp...) yet acknowledge the problem (the slothful idlers...that milk the system). Your poem is wonderful. I especially like the ending, how it ties in with the start and is really the heart of the MC's situation. Well done.
02/10/12
This speaks for all those that need help and want to retain their dignity too. Great job at painting a realistic picture of the MC's feelings and struggles with a system that fails many. Highly commended--absolutely!
02/10/12
Congrats. God Bless~