The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
01/28/12
Awwww! I love this!

I love the "two or three" in the "holy of holies." I could really imagine everything happening.
01/29/12
This really tugged at my heartstrings. Your descriptions make the story come to life; I wanted to reach into the monitor and stroke poor Andrea's hair and show her love.

As for the message, you presented it so beautifully. Childlike faith is so innocent and unquestioning, and you certainly captured that here.

I'd like to think that perhaps Andrea, Ralph, and maybe even the Cat, might go and live with the quirky Aunty Marty! One of my favourites this week, just beautiful. Well done.
02/01/12
Allison and Helen said it all before me. I really enjoyed this article and even found myself hoping the little girl got to visit her aunt. I liked the "bobble-head" line too. Good job.
I like this story. The closed-mindedness of the grandmother contrasts nicely with the younger but better-rounded MC, and the image of how God can work through obstacles to touch our feels very real. Great story!
Great story! I cared about the outcome, so it obviously did what you wanted it to do! Nice work!
02/02/12
Congratulation on placing Editor's choice. I enjoyed this story...good contrasting characters, dialogue and was well-written.