Home Read What's New Join
My Account Login

Read Our Devotional             2016 Opportunities to be Published             Detailed Navigation

The HOME for Christian writers! The Home for Christian Writers!
The Official Writing Challenge



how it works
submission rules
guidelines for
choosing a level


submit your entry
read current entries
read past entries
challenge winners

Our Daily Devotional HERE
Place it on your site or
receive it daily by email.



how it works   Submit

Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: rain (10/17/05)

TITLE: The Breakup
By Lori Othouse


Lynn squirmed awkwardly in her seat. She knew this would be difficult, but this was way more than she expected. Jesse’s tender eyes met hers.

“Lynn, please, I’m begging you. Don’t leave me…I love you!” He spoke so earnestly that she almost reconsidered, but held her ground.

“Jesse, it’s just not going to work. I thought you were right for me, but—“

“I am! More than you know. There’s so much more I can give you, so much we can do and be together.” He gently took her hand. “You’re a part of me, Lynn. I’d rather die than live without you!”

Now he was going too far. She pulled her hand away. “I really tried to be easy on you, but you’re getting all crazy on me! Just be glad for what we had and let it go. You’ll find someone else.”

“I want you.”

Lynn sighed loudly. “Well, I’m sorry, but I can’t help how I feel. This is my life, so it’s my choice.”

Jesse hung his head. “I know,” he whispered.

As she rose to leave, Jesse jumped up, throwing his arms around her.

“What’s the matter with you? Let go!” Lynn pushed him away, stepping back quickly.
“Get over it, Jesse!”

He gazed longingly at her, tears coming to his eyes.

“I’m sorry it had to be this way,” she concluded coldly.

His tears flowed freely as she turned and walked away. “I’ll always love you, Lynn,” he called after her, but she was already gone.


“And that’s pretty much how it happened,” Lynn said flatly.

The Counselor scribbled in His notebook, not looking up.

“It was no big deal,” she continued. “Definitely not the cause of my problems.”

Finally lifting His pen, The Counselor looked up, staring at her. “How long have you been calling Him ‘Jesse’? Since the breakup?”

“What do you mean?”

“You keep referring to Him as Jesse.”

“Of course,” Lynn retorted. “That’s his name.”

“Lynn…you know it isn’t. Changing His name isn’t going to ease your conscience. It won’t change the truth.”

She grew defensive. “I came to you for help and all you do is harass me about a former lover! We had something for a while, but it’s over, okay?”

The Counselor looked away sadly. “Then I don’t think I can help you. I’m sorry.”

“That’s it? I suppose you think I should go back to him too? It’s always about him, isn’t it? What about me? What about what I want?”

“I think you know the answer to that.”

She paused for a moment. “Yeah, I guess I do. Thanks for nothing!” She glanced outside to see the first few drops of rain beginning to fall. Muttering under her breath, she gathered her things and left without saying another word. The Counselor watched as she stormed through the door into the rain, straining to see her for as long as He could.

Lynn hurried along the familiar road. The rain began to fall harder, stinging her face and soaking her hair. She looked up, blinking through the raindrops. It was not rain, she decided. No, it was sunshine…drenching her with its soothing warmth as she made her way home.

The opinions expressed by authors may not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.
Accept Jesus as Your Lord and Savior Right Now - CLICK HERE
JOIN US at FaithWriters for Free. Grow as a Writer and Spread the Gospel.

This article has been read 1031 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Karen Schravemade10/25/05
I enjoyed this clever spiritual allegory... especially the ending, with the continued denial. Very understated, almost easy to miss the spiritual undertones of this story. But I liked it.
Jan Ackerson 10/26/05
Very thought-provoking...a story to return to. Thanks for writing this.
Phyllis Inniss10/27/05
Is Lynn feeling guilty for what she had done?
Amy Michelle Wiley 10/29/05
Facinating story... I think Jesse was Jesus. Am I right?
Lynda Lee Schab 10/30/05
I had to read the comments to understand your piece. Once I did understand the meaning, I loved the concept but think maybe it would be better if it was clarified a bit more for the reader. Even just a sentence or two after "I think you know the answer to that," going into a little detail about her "break-up" with Jesus would help make it a little more clear.
Just my opinion. But a creative entry nonetheless.
Blessings, Lynda