Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 - Advanced)
Topic: Embarrassment (01/12/12)
TITLE: Just One Of Many
By Carol Penhorwood
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It's true I have a reputation. And I am not even a blonde (but my hair has gotten a lot lighter over the years. Does that count?) I've had my moments...
I could tell you about the time I tried calling my husband on the microwave,
Or flashed my windshield wipers, instead of my headlights, to warn oncoming traffic,
Or after being approached in a store by a solicitor, dropping a tampon on the guy's foot as I tried to produce my money,
Or greeting an elderly friend in a funeral home, asking all about his family, and then discovered afterwards, he was a perfect stranger. Who knows? It could have been Alzheimer's!
Or I could describe the day I sat in my nephew's truck in a professional parking lot and took my time rummaging through the disastrous interior trying to find some specific paperwork only to discover it was not my nephew's truck.
Or driving home one evening, nearly blind, and realizing as I prepared for bed that I had placed both contacts in one eye.
But last month I had to do the prep work for both an endoscopy and a colonoscopy. Drinking that concoction would make anyone gag but, unfortunately, I just couldn't keep it down. The nurse informed me they would go ahead with the tests, regardless. I remember almost nothing of the procedures themselves after being rolled into that hospital exam room, shivering, as I lay on that hard table, watching the nurses prep all around me. Coming out of the anesthesia, I just slightly recall the gastroenterologist informing me of the necessity of yet another test—a barium x-ray. It was a test of endurance for me after the humiliation of the other procedures. This one was even worse. Who gives these people the right to prod and probe where no man has gone before? I wanted to ask, “Do I know you?”
I am not sure which of us was not prepared, but no one wants to be informed after walking through an entire hospital complex, passing person after person, that the back of her black jeans is covered with something white. I mean...REALLY?
But God loves his unique children, just as we are. And Fred Allen said it was bad to suppress laughter. It goes back down and spreads your hips.
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