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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Embarrassment (01/12/12)

TITLE: Miss Goldie Greenhorn And The Blooper That Backfired
By Nancy Bucca
01/14/12


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The snare started simple, the snare started sly,
Clandestinely laid by a versatile guy
Whose serpentine ruse to depose the man's rule
Was destined to boomerang, make him a fool.

Just hear him now boasting to his fine cow friend,
"I must say my tongue twisting skills have no end.
And now, dear Miss Goldie, I fear we must scoot,
But first let's replay your unscrupulous shoot.

We must see this blooper before they return:
The oozing temptation, the bare truth they learn,
Her mortified screams, the surprise on his face,
The shock, the disgrace, and the foul aftertaste.

It's clear no amount of fig leaves will suffice
To cover the shame spawned by my bad advice.
So do roll the credits, there's no time to lose.
I long to be tickled with views that amuse."

The frail heifer quivers, her calves start to quake.
"About that last scene, Sir, you asked me to take,
I fear with the filming there's been a slight glitch.
The 'LOW BATT' did spook, turned the lens black as pitch

Before I had time to record anything.
But if you ask me, it's a bit a-moo-sing."
"You what?!" croaks the reptile. "I cannot believe
That awful pun you expect me to receive.

Your last name is Greenhorn and now I see why.
I hope you're embarrassed, 'cause I could just die."
With that he reclines in a fork of the tree,
Cursing this dark blot on his victory.

What wakes him are nine pointed words from below.
"The serpent deceived me. To sin he's not slow."
"Uh-oh," says the dragon. He knows he is dead.
His feeble excuses are swallowed with dread.

The Lord's fiery gaze burns through every smokescreen.
Snake's cheeks light up red; he turns three shades of green.
"Bang!" bursts the bubble of his exposed pride,
Leaving him naked with nowhere to hide.

The two-edged sword sings, "Here's what he deserves:
A belly of jelly to jiggle his nerves."
The meaning is clear as his two legs go "poof!"
Then "Pop!" go his arms. He lets out a big "Oof!"

"A paraplegic. Oh how can that be?
I swear I hear everyone laughing at me.
Plus, mocking my pain is this rubbery tree.
With no nails for traction, it's too slippery!"

Aghast, his bare tail 'round a branch he does loop,
Then with a loud "Oops!" does a "floopity floop."
The whole orchard chortles and gives a big whoop,
Hooting to see him fall - "ploop" - in the goop.

"The best part of course is, I got it on tape."
So lows the slick bovine behind the black drape.
"I'll play it forever, this awesome reprise,
A fitting reward for his loosely lipped lies."


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This article has been read 312 times
Member Comments
Member Date
annie keys01/19/12
This is so cute! I've never been able to write prose, and I so appreciate those who have that gift. Loved the story, and the "a-moo-sing" pun just cracked me up.

Well done--you made my heart smile!
Linda Goergen01/20/12
This was indeed a-moo-sing. What a humorous take on the Serpentís roll in the garden and his punishment. Very clever. Hmm...now wonder if God will let us see that tape for entertainment when we get to Heaven. LOL
Colin Swann01/23/12
Great take on the fallen snake. Really,really good.
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 01/26/12
This is super clever and very amusing, Congratulations for ranking 7th in Masters and 14th overall!