The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
01/12/12
An interesting retelling of the story of Ruth from Naomi's perspective. Ruth is a great example of true commitment.

You have the promise of a strong opening sentence; but for me the adverb 'completely' ruins it. Two more adverbs in the second sentence weakens it further.

The third paragraph threw me for a moment. You start with Elimelech and the boys, but switch to the singular - him. (Note - I believe the proper spelling is Elimelech not Elimalech.)

You do a strong job of telling the story. A little less telling and more showing will provide a grander feast for your readers.

Thanks for the reminder that God is interested in our heart, not where we come from or our position in life.
01/12/12
No life reflects absolute commitment better than Ruth’s. You picked a very good example for showing commitment and you retold it well. Enjoyed.
Great choice of Biblical characters to illustrate commitment. I liked how you showed Naomi's struggle with bitterness, but also God's provision of Ruth as a faithful companion to continue her journey. Nice job!
01/13/12
Very nice job with the biblical story Ruth - one of my favorites. I enjoyed this from start to finish. God Bless~
01/17/12
I agree with James, a little more showing and a little less telling, would strengthen this piece (come to think of it, I could stand to do the same with my entry!).

I didn't recognize the story at first, but about midway through I recognized this as the story of Ruth, and I smiled wide. Love the application of commitment and enjoyed this piece.
01/19/12
Congratulations Noel on your HR placement! Nicely done, I really enjoyed this.
God Bless~
Congratulations on you're HC Noel. You did a great job piercing this readers heart with the reality that no matter how heavy my personal burdens seem, are, or have been, I am grateful not to have worn the shoes of others, especially Ruth and Naomi.
01/19/12
Interesting perspective writing surrounding the circumstance before the story of Ruth. Well done and congratulation on getting Highly Commended.
Wow this is awesome. It really touched me and I think it is my favorite. I loved how you told Naomi's story in such a way that many today can really relate to it. Only God could do such an amazing thing like inspiring you to write this old story in such a fresh way so that people reading it might have hope. Outstanding job, my friend.
01/19/12
Yahoo! Congratulations Noel on your HC win!!!
01/20/12
An outstanding retelling of the story of Ruth. The emotional content added reality and put me right there in the scene with them.

It reminds me not to whinge about the trivialities in life.

I thought the author's note ended it very well.

You are soooo gifted at retelling, and for me this is the best one so far!

Congratulations on being highly commended. Well deserved!
01/20/12
Oops! What's with all my spaces? Senior moment!
01/23/12
I love how you've enriched the setting and story. Your author's note is profound. Super congrats on your "highly commended."