The Official Writing Challenge
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Member
Date
01/12/12
In a world where fathers are shown as being stupid and uncaring, we have a gem that demonstrates how a real man operates. Family comes before business and pleasure.

The story flows well, with good transitions. The use of well known people strengthens his internal conflict. You keep the intrigue by having him evasive about the real meeting.

Overall, great job.
01/12/12
Totally had me captivated from beginning to end. And oh how I loved the surprise ending. How lovely, what a wonderful father.
01/12/12
This is a wonderful story. It's adventurous, lively, and teaches a valuable lesson on what's really important in life. Great job, Jen!
01/12/12
What a sweet, endearing story of a father who has his priority pole in the upright position. All the temptations couldn't sway him from what matters most. Nice job.
01/13/12
Superb storytelling. Clap clap clap! Great intro, "real" dialogue, perfect pacing and timing, and wonderful message. I'm not real crazy about the title, for some reason, but can't think of an alternative. Hope you're working on a novel right now because you've got all the "right stuff". :-)
01/13/12
I popped in because the title promissed a high octane read. This piece met that promise and more, keeping me guessing to the very end. And dang it, you make me bawl like a baby at the end. So sweet, so dear.

I loved how you incorporated modern technology, loved how you demontrated the Hollywood high life, the life of having it all. You turned me all sappy, and cheesy, and the song 'we could have had it all by Adelle started playing in the back of my head, and I kept thinking this could have 'it all' but shuns it for what he holds most dear, all the while I'm wondering what that thing is. I was sure it had to do with his wife, but you tricked me. And what a pleasant trick it was.
01/13/12
Cute story, and this will rank in the ratings for sure. Nicely done - adorable ending...Good job.
God Bless~
01/13/12
Excellent story with great pace and a delightful ending.
01/14/12
I agree with all the comments here. I especially liked the way James Brown put it -- "how a real man operates."

Excellent story! I was delighted that Lord Ferring made it in time to share in the tea party, with hat and tails and all his charm.
01/15/12
Absolutely wonderful story, masterfully written! Every young father should read it! Sadly, in reality, I think few would bypass all this dad did to make it to the tea party! Just a beautiful and touching example of true commitment! My favorite read yet! Applause!
01/19/12
There's nothing left to add to the previous comments. Outstanding writing! And definitely a winner!
01/19/12
Congratulations, Jennifer, on your ribbon! I'm not a bit surprised. Can't wait to read your next one...
01/19/12
Congratulations! Very well done; most excellent story!
01/19/12
Congratulations on your win! God Bless~
01/19/12
A nicely written piece and an enjoyable read. Congratulation on winning second place at your level!
01/19/12
Congratulations on placing second with this delightful story!
01/19/12
Soooo sweet! This story about a committed family man melts in your mouth like a butterscotch crumpet. ;) At first I thought he was passing everything up for a date with his wife, but the father/daughter date was no less touching.

Very well done, and big congrats on your second place win and ... EDITOR'S CHOICE!!! Up to Master's you go. ;)
01/19/12
I love this. The twist at the end is priceless. (I had guessed the important meeting was Church or prayer) It's nice to be surprised. Congratulations on your EC! I do believe it's your 3rd one and will bump you to Masters!
01/21/12
It is a very good story with a great message. Loved it.
01/25/12
Jennifer, congratulations on moving into the Masters level with this tender and uplifting story. Loved the role of the dad. Great work.
02/02/12
Congrats! A well written piece! Was surprising and delightful to realize the appointment was with his daughter! God bless you for the lessons here.