Home Read What's New Join
My Account Login

Read Our Devotional             2016 Opportunities to be Published             Detailed Navigation

The HOME for Christian writers! The Home for Christian Writers!
The Official Writing Challenge



how it works
submission rules
guidelines for
choosing a level


submit your entry
read current entries
read past entries
challenge winners

Our Daily Devotional HERE
Place it on your site or
receive it daily by email.



how it works   Submit

Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Hacker or Virus (computer) (12/15/11)

TITLE: Little Mac Visits Doc
By Jenna Dawn


One day my computer got sick. I sat on the couch and held him on my lap. “Mac,” I said. “What’s wrong with you?”

“Error,” was the only intelligible word he could articulate. Everything else was gibberish.

“Poor little feller.”

He wasn’t functioning well at all. His programs and data were a complete mess. If I could even find the file I was looking for, it was unreadable.

“Oh my. This simply won’t do. How are we going to get all our work done, Mac? I need you performing at full capacity.” Closing him up I stroked his lid. “You just get some rest now.”

I wrapped the little guy in a warm blanket and carried him to the car. The purr of the engine lulled him as we bumbled down Main Street to our destination. Upon arrival I cradled Mac in my arms, pulled opened the glass door and walked in.

“I don’t know what’s wrong with him,” I told the young girl sitting behind the counter. “He’s talking nonsensical blather and he feels rather warm.”

“We’ll take care of him.” As she reached out and pulled my treasure out of his blanket, an uneasy sensation roused within me. All I saw were tattoos, multiple piercings and purple hair.

“Are you Doc?” I had to know.

A small pink bubble emerged from her mouth, expanded to the size of a blimp and popped.

“I’m Doc’s assistant, Zola,” she spoke between chews. “He’s in the middle of a procedure right now. You can leave if you’d like and we’ll give you a call when we have a diagnosis.”

My pulse quickened. “Oh . . . no. I’ll stay, thank you.”

“All right. You can sit if you’d like.”

I really wanted to hold Mac, but resisted the urge. Instead I sat in a folding chair and stared at him lying on a cold table behind purple hair, unable to stop the nervous twitch in my leg.

Finally a man came out. Well, a kid, really. He had long unkempt locks and facial hair, not long enough to be called a beard. He wore a black, wrinkled t-shirt embellished with some cartoon character.

I attempted to squelch my misgivings by reminding myself that some of the best computer minds can be . . . unconventional.

Zola introduced me while handing Mac to Doc.

“Come on back and we’ll take a look.”

I followed Doc into a room strewn with an assortment of computers and computer parts; a veritable computer junkyard. I tried to keep my emotions intact as visions of little Mac being tossed among the scraps slammed into my head.

Doc sat down at a cluttered table with just enough space to set my little guy, flipped open Mac’s lid and woke him up.

I stood behind Doc and unconsciously began to reach toward Mac . . . as if to comfort him, or maybe protect him from the likes of this “kid”. I put my arm down, bit my lip and watched as Doc looked him over, clicking on this and that.

“Well, it looks like he’s got a virus,” Doc leaned back in his chair and twisted his head toward me.

“How bad is it?”

“Well the question is, do you have back up?”

“Back up? Oh, yes. Mac backs up every day to some device my friend set up for me. It’s at home.”

“Great. If you can bring that in, I’ll have him back to his old self in no time.”

* * *

The next day I sat on my couch with Mac on my lap. I was tickled pink as I clicked on programs and files and found everything just as it was before he was infected.

“I was so worried, Mac. You were very sick and I had to relinquish you to some quite unsavory-looking characters. But that Doc, he fixed you right up. He sure is a nice young man. And Zola . . . she took good care of you, too.”

And then an idea struck me. “Hey, let’s make a thank you e-card for Doc and Zola. We’re good at that.”

And so Mac and I got to work creating a heartfelt symbol of our appreciation. We sent it off together and spent the rest of the afternoon surfing the internet, playing games and watching a movie.

I smiled as I laid him down for the night and switched off the light. “What would I do without you, Mac?”

The opinions expressed by authors may not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.
Accept Jesus as Your Lord and Savior Right Now - CLICK HERE
JOIN US at FaithWriters for Free. Grow as a Writer and Spread the Gospel.

This article has been read 337 times
Member Comments
Member Date
annie keys12/29/11
Cute! And I loved the way the little Mac wrote a thank you note---that's a lost response with kids today.
C D Swanson 12/29/11
Adorable, enjoyable, and written really well. Nice piece and great job.
God Bless~
James Brown12/29/11
Great story. I love the idea of the computer being a close companion. When something close to you is sick, you tend to feel the pain just as much . . . or worse.

I easily pictured the 'Doc' and his assistant. Loved the bubble gum line.

You've got a real winner here.
Allison Egley 12/30/11
Oh, I love this. So cute and true, but with that slight hint of warning about taking things too far with computers. A nice combination. Great job.
Helen Curtis12/30/11
Very nice! I felt the MCs pain at putting her little Mac in the hands of Doc and Zola! Your descriptions were fantastic and really brought the story to life.

As for the ending, did you intentionally make it a bit ambiguous? It seems very nice and light hearted, but I, too, picked up that the MC might have been somewhat 'addicted' to his/her Mac. Regardless, it was a delightful read and a definite favourite of mine this week! Well done.
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 01/04/12
This is a really sweet story. At the beginning I thought it would make a wonderful picture book. I don't think there are a lot of storybooks about this topic out there and feel it is a creative idea, as well as something that would meet the demand.

However, later on you had too many big words to make it a suitable picture book. I also thought if you had made it a twist by making the reader think Mac was a pet it would have been a fun read for adults.

I liked how you showed how most people today can't live without their computers. Sometimes my husband pays more attention to his "babies" than he does to me, so I could really relate to this story.
Edmond Ng 01/04/12
A light hearted and enjoyable read that is totally creative. I like your approach treating the Mac as a pet in the story. Great job!