“138542, we know you were involved in this. We’re going to find out how and it won’t be easy on you! You hear?” Venomous words spit from the Warden.
“I’m sorry about your daughter but you can see I’ve been in my cell for the last two weeks and you cut me off from the library’s computer last year, remember? No way could I have done anything.” Try not to smile even though there’s little chance he can prove I was responsible for one of my ex-con friends on the outside getting his daughter’s email address and corresponding with her.
“Guards, get in here and search his cell. Tear it apart this time. I know he’s involved.”
The prisoner backs up as ordered while the door opens, hands behind his back and facing away from them. The handcuffs are placed and he’s dragged out.
“Can you fix that running toilet? Keeps me awake at night, it’s driving me crazy,” I shout over my shoulder while being marched down the hall.
“Leave it running, the last thing I want to do is make his stay here pleasant,” the Warden’s voice becoming shaky.
Three exhausted guards leave the cell in disarray as prisoner #138542 is uncuffed and the door clanks shut.
“Hey, I kinda like how you rearranged things; mind if I leave it like this?”
“You have 30 minutes. It better be spotless or there’s more lock up time coming!”
The Warden is a little testy today.
#138542 methodically starts putting things back. The torn mattress will be replaced next week, as usual. He ignores the guard posted outside, watching. He won’t see anything unusual. They never do because it is always right in front of them.
Ah, the toilet is still running.
Whistling as he moves along, he receives the confirming three short C notes in his hearing aids. Good, the computer is still working.
“Knock off that stupid whistling,” the guard stomps off.
“Oh, Bob, you won’t see anything hiding around the cell wall,” I like to let the guards know I can tell when they do not really leave.
“I don’t understand how you know every time; it must be those new hearing aids we got you after you lost the last ones in the toilet. But don’t worry; I’ll catch you sooner or later.”
Yep, it is these new hearing aids…and the toilet. Listening for the guard to leave the area, he whistles again turning off the microcomputer in the toilet’s float. If they ever fix this running toilet they’d discover the miniature generator I built from the wind-up audio watch I took apart and the controls in the “floating” computer from the rest of the watch and hearing aid parts. Lucky the library’s WiFi is close too.
“You got them again, didn’t you?!” Comes a voice from the next cell.
“No problem. I’m in here because I got caught for my Wall Street computer jinxes so I’m always blamed for their glitches now. Keeps me sharp until my time’s up and I’m outa here.”
“Hey, we won’t tell on you. But come to think of it, maybe I will if you don’t throw the next Presidential election like I want.”
“Can’t do it, it would be illegal.” Others join them in a hearty laugh. Besides been there, done that.
“Say, how do you know where everyone is all the time?”
“Remember those tiny RFID computer chips some stores started putting in clothes a while back? They’re still there and constantly being activated by radio waves in the air all around us. When they get close enough to me my hearing aid sensors pick them up and identify them for me. “
“I got one in my clothes too?”
“Yep, but don’t worry, I know where you are anyway.” Chuckles echo in the hall.
“Hey, I wanted to thank you for being patriotic and putting that virus in Iran’s nuclear computer.”
“Well, I felt kinda bad about it afterwards and sent them one of the CIA’s drones to say I was sorry.” Silence now prevails.
“You gonna get in the Warden’s daughter’s computer again?”
“Nope, his wife’s checkbook account this time; I think I might send the balance to our dear friendly guard Bob’s savings, with a bank notice to the Warden.”
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