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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: rain (10/17/05)

TITLE: Pride Goeth Before a Fall
By Kenn Allan
10/21/05


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Overhead in gray repose,
The raindrops wait...
The darkness grows...
Upon the earth, all presuppose,
A storm is coming soon.

But one progressive drop resisted,
"Why fall to earth,
"All blown and twisted?
"We should fall up," the drip insisted,
"And fall upon the moon."

The thunder rumbled with delight,
"Up, you say?
"You may be right!
"If you attempt this noble flight,
"Your praises I'll convey!"

The lightning flashed with brilliant grin,
"This sounds divine,
"Please count me in!
"I'll blaze your path when you begin,
"And gladly light your way!"

The north and south winds intertwined,
"We'd like to help!
"If you're inclined,
"We'll blow upward from behind,"
"And send you clear to Mars!"

The raindrop swelled, his ego growing,
"I'm going to try!
"Who else is going?
"With all this fanfare, lights and blowing,
"I'll soar among the stars!"

Cried other raindrops, quite offended,
"We're blessed to serve,
"As God intended."
Then with a leap they all descended,
To quench the fruited plain.

In his moment most defining,
He leapt beyond
His silver lining,
But felt his altitude declining -
He fell to earth as rain.


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This article has been read 1803 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Sally Hanan10/24/05
Haha, sounds like you had fun with this.
Jan Ackerson 10/26/05
Wow! This is great! I loved your rhyme and meter scheme, and it's very cleverly written, without any awkward phrasing. A light-hearted message, written with great cleverness. Superb!
Debbie Sickler10/26/05
I also thought this was cute and cleverly written. It was fun to read,well done!
Cassie Memmer10/27/05
Cute and enjoyable. I can see this as a Dr. Seuss type book! Poor little drop, had to learn to be what God intended him to be! :o)
Anita Neuman10/27/05
A great message wrapped up in smart rhyme. Very well done!!! (And I loved your hint, too.)
Phyllis Inniss 10/27/05
I love this beautifully written poem. I can feel that you enjoyed writing this.
Garnet Miller 10/27/05
God made us all for a specific purpose. When we seek to be more Godlike, we tend to come crashing down. I think that little raindrop had an Icarus complex!
Shari Armstrong 10/28/05
What a cute poem! loved it!
Donna J. Shepherd10/28/05
This would make a wonderful children's picture book. You should consider submitting it to come Christian publishers. Very cute and good message! - Donna
Helga Doermer10/28/05
Light and lovely. This one had me smiling.
Amy Michelle Wiley 10/29/05
That wsa great!! I loved it! And the rythmn--just right!
Linda Watson Owen10/29/05
Absolutely delightful!!
dub W10/31/05
Loved the personification and lite hearted story. Good job.
Brandi Roberts10/31/05
Wow, Kenn, this was an AWESOME poem. Very Poe-esque. I really enjoyed the rhythm and rhyme.
Linda Watson Owen10/31/05
Congratulations, Ken, on a well deserved win! This poem is such a delightful creation!
Debbie OConnor10/31/05
Excellent! Delightful. Congratulations on a well deserved win!
Deborah Porter 11/01/05
Kenn, congratulations on your very well deserved 1st place win in the Editors' Choice and the Level 3 awards. You scored one of the highest ratings we've had in a while, so well done! With love, Deb (Challenge Coordinator)
Suzanne R11/03/05
This is just gorgeous. I can see it already in a picture book with the different characters drawn in blacks and blues and whites and silvers! Just beautiful!
Marilyn Schnepp 11/04/05
Loved it! Judges deserve 3 cheers! Couldn't get any better. Syncopation personified & Message delivered in Style!
B Brenton11/11/05
No wonder this one won!
I usually never read poetry, but it was so fun and I was so glad I did.
You talented thing!
Nina Phillips01/29/07
I love the poems and presentations clearly a pleasurable read. Imaginative and winning. God bless you, littlelight