Matthew 6:5-13, the New Unauthorised Version for Geeks
And when you pray, do not be like the social network addicts, for they love to have their comments posted in public forums to be seen by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their feedback in full. But when you pray, log out of the open discussions, and send God a private message instead. Then your Father, who reads the memo addressed only to Him (without anyone else in “cc”), will download his blessings.
And when you pray, do not make long statements like some, who think they will be heard because they have the last comment on a post. Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you even configure your request. This then, is how you should upload your prayers.
Our Father who is THE World Wide Web,
may all Search Engines feature Your name,
Your universal program be installed,
Your will be done,
according to the Master Programmer.
Give us this day our electrical power.
And permanently delete all our corrupted files,
as we forgive those who bombard our inboxes with spam.
And lead us away from destructive websites,
but deliver us today’s virus protection update,
For You reign supreme over Google, Facebook, Twitter or any new IT gimmick to come…
Always have, and always will.
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